āThatā Student Causes TA to Have Mental Breakdown
By week four, Justin was beginning to point out flaws in the grad studentās handwriting.
Category Archives: Articles
Last Healthy Student on Campus Adopts SARS Mask to Avoid Sickness
āI didnāt think the disease would ever reach this area, but I guess this goes to show that all it takes is one carrier,ā bemoaned Kondriak.
Gallup Poll Shows Vicious Divide on the Definition of āHooking Upā
āI donāt think sex is necessary for a hookup,ā argued Gender and Sexuality professor Jezebel Ross. āItās got to get to third base though.ā
Columbus, Ohio changes name to Indigenous People, OH
Inhabitants of the city, now known as Indigenous Persons, are overwhelmingly in favor of the change as well.
ASG President Julia Zorn Plans World Domination
While campaigning for ASG President last year, Zorn listed her political inspirations as Kim-Jong Un, Joseph Kony, and āthat evil woman in Ghostbusters.ā
Football Team Inspires Spontaneous Wave of Nihilism
āOur team was literally supposed to be amazing now that we beat Wisconsin. I donāt think I can handle all this disappointment.ā
Area Man Eating in Front Window of Taco Bell Really Hates Himself
The quesarito is his only source of joy left in the world.
The Five Stages of the Freshman Fifteen
You use defense mechanisms like rationalization and the intellectualization that NU students are famous for to convince yourself that it doesnāt matter.
OPINION: I Could Husk Corn at the Age of 3
When I was three years old, my Pa-Paw handed me a bucket of corn and told me to get to work. Iād never done this before, but three-year-old me picked it right up.
Homecoming Grand Marshal Kathryn Hahn Looks Nothing Like Ana Gasteyer
“Just not looking at their pictures you canāt tell that they arenāt completely different, with almost no recognizable similarities.”