Articles | Northwestern Flipside

Category Archives: Articles

The Fraternity Man’s Guide to Derby Day Success

May 6, 2013 Rachel Beal Leave a comment

Though a cornerstone of American equine tradition, the Kentucky Derby can prove a stressful experience for horse owners and spectators alike, wrought with high social standards for etiquette, dress code, and cocktail consumption. To prepare brothers and other students planning on a trip to Churchill Downs, several NU fraternities teamed up with campus organizations including the Equestrian Club, Future Oil Billionaires of America, and the Daughters and Sons of the Confederacy to host a pre-Derby spirit week featuring daily mini-courses

Rapper Danny Brown Plans Dillo Day Reading of The Da Vinci Code

May 5, 2013 Rachel Beal Leave a comment

EVANSTON — Following the announcement that rapper Danny Brown would be the midday Hip Hop artist featured at this year’s Dillo Day festivities, many Northwestern students voiced concerns related to a recent scandalous performance by the artist in Minneapolis. Mayfest, the group responsible for planning the Dillo Day lineup, quelled the anxieties of more conservative Wildcats by explaining via their twitter account that instead of actually rapping, Brown would do a live reading of the 2003 literary thriller The Da

Norris’s Broken Golden Tee Arcade Game Leaves NU Despondent

May 4, 2013 Clare Roth One comment

EVANSTON — The Golden Tee arcade game located in the ground floor of Norris has fallen into disrepair, sending shock waves through Northwestern and leaving 8,000 students unsure of how to spend their time. “It was just such a big part of how I spent my weekends, you know?” said Angela Smith, sophomore Communication major. “What am I supposed to do now, play non-archaic video games, or even worse, go out and drink or something?” The game, located in the

Proposed Changes to Norris “Totally Make Sense”

May 3, 2013 Caroline Picard Leave a comment

EVANSTON — Even with a $150 million major renovation in the works, smaller recent changes to Norris University Center have already been called “totally practical” and are universally enjoyed by the student body. “The new purple walls just make my day that much better when the Norbucks line goes out the door,” said Weinberg sophomore Cassie Weeks. “Plus, the new couches by the entrance will be a great place to lounge around during all of that free time I totally

New Hostess CEO Plans to Avoid Labor Unions, Hires Keebler Elves

May 2, 2013 Rachel Beal Leave a comment

COLUMBUS, GA — Trans fat gourmands across America rejoiced this past week upon hearing that Apollo Global Management LLC, the firm that bought the royal icing of the Hostess empire, the Twinkie, had plans to reopen bakeries and return many of the only semi-genetically modified treats to stores by mid-July. The largest obstacle in resuming production, though, according to Apollo CEO C. Dean Metropolous (besides, of, course, ever looking at a Twinkie again now that he knows what’s in them)

Flipside Apologizes for Humanity Thinking Everything They See on the Internet Is True

May 1, 2013 Flippy Leave a comment

The Flipside would like to apologize for exposing the world to so many evils: ignorance, people who spread lies on the Internet, and even The Flipside. Look, The Flipside makes things up. People like the things we make up. For instance, we have received hundreds of Facebook likes on articles titled “Class of 2017 Holds Most Diverse Group of White People in NU History” and “New Sorority Pledge in Love With Her Sisters, Unsure of All Their Names.” Despite that

Czech Republic Sends $2 Billion in Maps as Foreign Aid to Geographically Oblivious U.S.

April 30, 2013 Adam Pecena Leave a comment

PRAGUE, CZECH REP. — Czech Prime Minister Petr Nečas announced at a special press conference today that his government has decided to provide $2 billion worth of maps for the tragically geographically challenged U.S. schoolchildren. “We see it as a moral duty to extend a helping hand to countries whose education about the rest of the world has frozen in a woeful state. The least we can do is provide the necessary tools for the poor American kids to at

BREAKING (THIS IS NOT SATIRE): Mayfest Announces Dillo Day Lineup, Jepsen to Headline

April 29, 2013 Brian Earl 3 comments

Mayfest officially announced the complete lineup for the June 1, 2013 festival after it was accidentally leaked by a member of its executive board. The lineup includes Smash Mouth, Kid Cudi, Ludacris, Hanson, and headliner Carly Rae Jepsen.

A Review of Found: A Restaurant Fit for a Stefon

April 28, 2013 Dan Weinberg One comment

I just heard about this absolutely fabulous social house (it’s not the same as a restaurant, but I won’t expect you to know the difference) from Stefon called Found. Once he said that it had both fried chicken and caviar on the menu, I knew I would die if I didn’t go there. So, this past weekend, my girlfriends and I decided to head over, and, let me tell you, it was the absolute best culinary experience I’ve had since

That Guy in the Justin Bieber Song to Perform at A&O Ball

April 27, 2013 Alex Finkelstein Leave a comment

EVANSTON — The rapper from the Justin Bieber song “Baby” is officially slated to perform at A&O Ball Saturday. Reports indicate that this is also the same person who made a guest appearance in the Enrique Iglesias song “Tonight I’m Loving You.” Student reaction to the news has been mainly positive with many feeling on top of the world. RTVF freshman and A&O member Carol Lang said, “When I heard, I was like, yeah! The guy featured in that Usher