As you, my dear readers, would know, for those performances my father wouldāve shown me ye olā belt. However, for that last frisbee game, he wouldāve hugged me and that wouldāve fixed me.
Ance had done everything right. He was a top student, president of his frat, secret Trump voter, and LinkedIn Premium user. So where did everything go wrong? He couldnāt figure it out; all he could do was cry.Ā Ā
And thatās why it pains me so to see these other bishops and princes of the church milling about at the Vatican during this time, pretending that theyāre deep in prayer while in reality we know that the āconclaveā is really just a great fuck fantasy, acting so holier-than-thou like Bishop Lombardo once did.
Dear Flippy, So I recently got arrested for something. Donāt ask me what. Anyways, while I was sitting in the clink, I thought, you know, now would be a great time to reread my pocket Constitution, primarily because I was bored but also because there is a very real possibility I could go to prison. Anyways, when I pulled that Constitution out of my pocket, I saw something that made me think of you, my sweet, sweet bear friend: the
But then she went on Instagram reels and was emotionally healed.Ā Ā
In all my four weeks of hardcore, intensive, extensive, rough-and-rowdy intramural frisbee, Iāve never seen a game like the one we put on last week. Now, yes, I know that this team isnāt exactly the 2012 San Francisco Giants, but goddammit that performance we put on could make an angel want to jump of a bridge.
Before the headless horseman got his start scaring folks of all ages with his iconic jack-o-lantern head, he actually went through aāsurprisingly roughāexperimental phase to see what produce would work best. Here are 5 of our favorites!
Like the other 150,000,000 people who voted for him, Iām happy with how Yeezy is running this country. Our economy and military have become harder, better, faster, and stronger in responding to foreign aggression. The brilliant financial strategies of the new Fed Chair Pusha T have stopped inflation and reduced the pre-existing economic conditions that created the infamous Gold Diggers. However, I canāt ignore the Pablo Bill which has given us a new national anthemāhis 2016 hit song, āFather Stretch
On Wednesday night, every sad girl and gay rose from their slumber to stream the new song by Charli XCX Lorde. As a NOT gay person, I took a listen myself and noticed that the song was quite inappropriate andā¦unholy. In the first line of the chorus, she sings about taking MDMA and smoking the ābest cigarette of [her] lifeā…uh, promoting hard drugs? Only a few days after Easter? I donāt think so! Besides, we all know poppers are the better choice
Tariffs on China see Temu prices skyrocketing to as high as 20 dollars By: Stephen Walsh āI was devastated, absolutely devastated. I thought to myself, āIt canāt happen here, can it?ā But it can, and it has, and may the Lord have mercy on us all for our transgressions.ā Those are the words of a distraught Scott Smith, a local man whose Temu shopping habits have been deeply impacted by Trumpās trade war with China. As he was checking out