Category Archives: Articles

Hey BBG, Just Went To A Train convention And It Reminded Me How Much I Miss You

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I been thinking about what did us in. I was wrong to ask if you’d be cool getting a train run on you by me and my homies—I know that now. I’m sorry, girl. It shoulda just been me and you—head and caboose.I been thinking about what did us in. I was wrong to ask if you’d be cool getting a train run on you by me and my homies—I know that now. I’m sorry, girl. It shoulda just been me and you—head and caboose.

Read more Articles, Entertainment, Featured, Latest News, Local, Nation, No. 412, World, Year 18

Flippy’s Guide to Safe Drinking at the Train Convention 

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Listen up, Wildcats: after my experiences at Dillo Day, I know that if this campus is known for one thing and one thing only, it’s tolerance. But if it’s known for two things, the second is finding an excuse to day drink, and as a bear who must answer letters from y’all, I’m a bit experienced when it comes to whistling my blues into a bottle of Jack Daniel’s.

Read more Articles, Featured, Latest News, Local, No. 412, Year 18

Nuclear Family Splits In Incredible Explosion

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You think your parents’ divorce (your fault) was bad? Just you sit your pretty little sweet hottight ass down and wait, because while most divorces can be awfully messy, NOTHING,compares to this, because this nuclear family split in an incredible explosion. Scientists at Los Alamos National Laboratory had been studying the family of Duncan McOkinerand his now ex-wife Sinead (nĂ©e Meadhbh), as well as their two children Martin and Julie, forover two years before their split in an incredible explosion

Read more Articles, Featured, Latest News, No. 410, Year 18

Op-ed: I’d be way better at scooping up red goop than that fuckass robot arm

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Just the other day, during my 4th out of 6 hours of daily scrolling on twitter I mean X, I saw a troubling video I had not seen in a hot second. It was that video of that fuckass robot arm trying to scoop up a bunch of red goop and failing MISERABLY. I would do way, way better. I thought we invented robots to be good at completing tasks. Take for example, the robots you see when you’re watching

Read more Articles, Latest News, No. 410, Opinion, Year 18
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