Category Archives: Articles

Stop listening to Lorde and starting listening to the Lord #godbless

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On Wednesday night, every sad girl and gay rose from their slumber to stream the new song by Charli XCX Lorde. As a NOT gay person, I took a listen myself and noticed that the song was quite inappropriate and…unholy. In the first line of the chorus, she sings about taking MDMA and smoking the “best cigarette of [her] life”…uh, promoting hard drugs? Only a few days after Easter? I don’t think so! Besides, we all know poppers are the better choice

Read more Featured, Headline, Local, Nation, No. 408, Year 18

Tariffs on China see Temu prices skyrocketing to as high as 20 dollars

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Tariffs on China see Temu prices skyrocketing to as high as 20 dollars  By: Stephen Walsh  “I was devastated, absolutely devastated. I thought to myself, ‘It can’t happen here, can it?’ But it can, and it has, and may the Lord have mercy on us all for our transgressions.”  Those are the words of a distraught Scott Smith, a local man whose Temu shopping habits have been deeply impacted by Trump’s trade war with China. As he was checking out

Read more Articles, Featured, No. 408, World, Year 18

Guys, what planet is urethra pain? My astronomy teacher wasn’t very good.

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Hey, guys. so I need your help. Somebody told me today that there’s something happening on Urethra Pain, but I don’t know what that planet is. My astronomy teacher wasn’t very good; in fact, he told me that planets are just oversized paper airplanes that the government launches into the sky when they wants to distract us from the liberal takeover. It took me five years to find out that was wrong. So, I want to be proactive and just

Read more Articles, Featured, Latest News, No. 407, Year 17

Ask Flippy: Is your OF content ethically sourced? I want to goon ethically

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Firstly, I’ll ask you to remember that there is no truly ethical consumption “content” and that even small creators are still participating in a system that increases the inequality/exploitation that hides this industry from oversight. It suffocates those it takes advantage of who are trying to exact change at the grander level, buried by a number of interconnected goonbait systems.

Read more Articles, Ask Flippy, Featured, Latest News, Local, No. 406, Year 18
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