Studies Indicate Millions of Americans Cannot Locate Vulva on a Globeļæ¼
Americans woke up with shock to the news that US forces captured NicolƔs Maduro, the President of the South American country of Vulva.
Category Archives: World
From the Near Future: Ambassador to the UN Nicki Minaj Performs āAnacondaā in Front of the General Assembly to Raise Awareness of Falling Birth Rates in Developed Countriesļæ¼
Although less catchy than the original, the new lyrics āMy demographicsĀ down, they aināt rebouncinā now, lawmakers frown, askinā, āWhereās each newborn from?āā seemed to instantly capture the attention of the assembly members.
Breaking: Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq To Come Out of Hiding After Dick Cheney’s Deathļæ¼
As news of the death of former Vice President Dick Cheney made its way to Iraq, the Weapons of Mass Destruction began to emerge from hiding after a 22-year disappearance.
IKEA Tells People to Stop Having Sex in RamnefjƤlls and Tonstads on Display Floorļæ¼
IKEA apparently decided the world needed a reminder that their display beds are not to be used for fooling around.
Trump to start nuclear testing on animals “Like How Sephora does it”
President Donald Trump, calm and measured as always, announced plans to resume nuclear testing last Thursday while at a trade meeting in South Korea. Trump claimed the measure was in response to increased Russian aggression from recent (non-nuclear) missile tests and (actually nuclear) comments from Russian president Putin comparing Trump to an earwax-covered q-tip. Independent agencies have raised alarms over safety and diplomatic concerns from potential testing, but the public and the professionals are both ignoring the most dangerous part
Jesus Announces That No One Qualified for Raptureļæ¼
In a revelation that has scandalized American evangelicals and other communities suffering from elevated rates of neurosis, Jesus Christ announced in a Xweet that the long-awaited Second Coming indeed took place midday Tuesday.
Days After Charlie Kirk’s Assassination, Old Tweets Attacking the Star-Not-On-Belly Sneetches Resurface
āIf I ever see a star-not-on-belly Sneetch making pancakes, Iām going to be like āboy, I hope I donāt get food poisoning from these pancakes,ā
Hey BBG, Just Went To A Train convention And It Reminded Me How Much I Miss You
I been thinking about what did us in. I was wrong to ask if youād be cool getting a train run on you by me and my homiesāI know that now. Iām sorry, girl. It shoulda just been me and youāhead and caboose.I been thinking about what did us in. I was wrong to ask if youād be cool getting a train run on you by me and my homiesāI know that now. Iām sorry, girl. It shoulda just been me and youāhead and caboose.
Top 5 Fruits and Veggies the Headless Horseman Tried Before Pumpkins
Before the headless horseman got his start scaring folks of all ages with his iconic jack-o-lantern head, he actually went through aāsurprisingly roughāexperimental phase to see what produce would work best. Here are 5 of our favorites!
Tariffs on China see Temu prices skyrocketing to as high as 20 dollars
Tariffs on China see Temu prices skyrocketing to as high as 20 dollars By: Stephen Walsh āI was devastated, absolutely devastated. I thought to myself, āIt canāt happen here, can it?ā But it can, and it has, and may the Lord have mercy on us all for our transgressions.ā Those are the words of a distraught Scott Smith, a local man whose Temu shopping habits have been deeply impacted by Trumpās trade war with China. As he was checking out