As news of the death of former Vice President Dick Cheney made its way to Iraq, the Weapons of Mass Destruction began to emerge from hiding after a 22-year disappearance.
IKEA apparently decided the world needed a reminder that their display beds are not to be used for fooling around.
President Donald Trump, calm and measured as always, announced plans to resume nuclear testing last Thursday while at a trade meeting in South Korea. Trump claimed the measure was in response to increased Russian aggression from recent (non-nuclear) missile tests and (actually nuclear) comments from Russian president Putin comparing Trump to an earwax-covered q-tip. Independent agencies have raised alarms over safety and diplomatic concerns from potential testing, but the public and the professionals are both ignoring the most dangerous part
In a revelation that has scandalized American evangelicals and other communities suffering from elevated rates of neurosis, Jesus Christ announced in a Xweet that the long-awaited Second Coming indeed took place midday Tuesday.
“If I ever see a star-not-on-belly Sneetch making pancakes, I’m going to be like ‘boy, I hope I don’t get food poisoning from these pancakes,’
I been thinking about what did us in. I was wrong to ask if you’d be cool getting a train run on you by me and my homies—I know that now. I’m sorry, girl. It shoulda just been me and you—head and caboose.I been thinking about what did us in. I was wrong to ask if you’d be cool getting a train run on you by me and my homies—I know that now. I’m sorry, girl. It shoulda just been me and you—head and caboose.
Before the headless horseman got his start scaring folks of all ages with his iconic jack-o-lantern head, he actually went through a—surprisingly rough—experimental phase to see what produce would work best. Here are 5 of our favorites!
Tariffs on China see Temu prices skyrocketing to as high as 20 dollars By: Stephen Walsh “I was devastated, absolutely devastated. I thought to myself, ‘It can’t happen here, can it?’ But it can, and it has, and may the Lord have mercy on us all for our transgressions.” Those are the words of a distraught Scott Smith, a local man whose Temu shopping habits have been deeply impacted by Trump’s trade war with China. As he was checking out
Did you hear ‘bout Myanmar, girl? 7.7, they said. It made me think of you, girl. Our love, it really shook things up.
Amidst the chaos, and amidst the accession of new president Kyra Lesmerises, the club’s real seat of power–Flipside Vice President and chief eunuch Benjamin Auby–went largely unnoticed.