Flipside Profiles: Rick Santorum
Northwestern University’s College Republicans recently announced that former U.S. Senator Rick Santorum will be speaking in Fisk Hall on Wednesday, November 19.
Tag Archives: Politics
Clay Aiken’s Political Career Ended as Opponent Studdard Has Last Minute Surge
Aiken pounded the competition week after week with top-notch speeches, rallies, and appearances. His opponent was less consistent, having a small number of impressive performances but many that were met with mediocre reviews.
Founding Fathers Would Have Discouraged Attributing Opinions to Dead People
If Thomas Jefferson and “Honest Ben” Franklin knew of the recent misattribution of opinions to the late Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. they would have been ashamed to call themselves ‘mericans.
Ezra Pound: “I Really Admire Your Wildcat Spirit”
A sea of purple shirts, without interruption or impurity, all rallying around the leadership of the great Pat Fitzgerald – what could be more beautiful? Nothing, I feel.
Republicans Privately Advocating for Return to Articles of Confederation
The Articles do not contain a president, a Supreme Court, congressional power of taxation, or congressional power to regulate trade. Such a proposal thus represents a minor increase in Republican demands during negotiations.
President Schapiro Announces Reelection Campaign
Schapiro warned that the campaign would not be easy. “There are certain to be challengers funded by special interest groups and a capella musicians, if you can call that ‘music.’ There are certain to be vicious ads taped to the sidewalk which will remain long after the campaign is done.”
Evanston Congresswoman Arrested for Being a Model Citizen
“Members of Congress are expected to comply with the long-upheld standard of doing nothing right,” said Head of Congressional Security Ron Mullins.
Army-Navy Game Canceled, Army at Syria to Go on as Scheduled
The Air Force, Navy, and Army football games were put into jeopardy due to the government shutdown that began last Tuesday. The upcoming match in Syria will continue the rivalry between the Army and nearly every team in the MEC (Middle Eastern Conference).
Biden Tries to Boost National Economy with Meth Lab
WASHINGTON — After a recent fire was put out in the West Wing of the White House, investigators found Vice President Biden and Former President Clinton working on a meth lab to help alleviate the United States’ financial woes. The subsequent investigation and closure of the operation revealed unimagined details about the inner workings of the White House. Biden commented, “Listen, I talked to Bernanke, he kept saying a bunch of bullshit about interest rates and bubbles as if I
Clinton Testimony Ends in Pain Reliever Review
WASHINGTON — In yet another attempt to cover up their ill fate in the 2012 elections, Republicans demanded a hearing on the Benghazi attacks with Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. The first fifteen minutes of the hearing involved multiple people thanking Clinton for not getting bangs, saying, “it’s just too flirty for our taste.” The fifteen minutes after that included clarification on which video provoked the protests, with certain members claiming it was the music video to Justin Beiber’s “Beauty