“You know, it was completely unexpected,” said Parks, now 19. “When she called on me to recalibrate, I originally thought she meant the other Josh, Josh M. Never in a million years would I expect to be chosen for such a prestigious responsibility.”
“Honestly it’s just been me spending more time at home and making married life feel less empty, but it’s definitely for the best.”
The report noted that “fewer American children than ever before can solve a problem like those typically found in the textbook of a standard graduate-level course in mathematics or chemistry.”
Lily Sanders noted, “I loved making new friends, learning new things, and having fun during Wildcat Welcome. I’ll never be able to do those things again once classes start.”
NASHVILLE – Located just outside the Tennessee capitol, the school board of the Lakewood Children’s Institute reached a decision this Wednesday to ban all copies of The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn from its premises. The administration found itself in this situation due to a long list of complaints from teachers and parents claiming that students frequently misread the book’s title and pronounced “the F-bomb” instead. Considering that Lakewood Children’s Institute teaches exclusively illiterate and dyslexic children, evidently this happened quite
By Professor John McSnoot Throughout history, people have begun essays with grand generalizations. It’s one of the most common mistakes I see in student papers. These generalizations are often the same as the title of the essay, which should always be its own thought. There are three main mistakes I see in my students’ writing: Making a laundry list of reasons, sentence construction badness, and repetitive, redundant sentences of redundancy. Then, they do not provide adequate explanations for their reasoning.
Dear Northwestern Flipside, All of my friends are already home from school. Will I ever get to go home? Your number one fan, Randolph K. Hassenpfeffer Well, Randy (I’m going to call you Randy whether you like it or not), the answer is quite simple: NO. You are in fact stuck here until you graduate. There is a secret clause in the housing agreement stating that all students are forbidden from being at home for more than a month while