“We needed someone to buy us beer,” said Josie Cuervo, a junior. at Stuyvesant High School. “Then my friends and I heard Leo DiCaprio was sniffing around for younger women to date. Seemed to me like this might be the beginning of a beautiful partnership.”
The Popular Kids are popular precisely because they’re simultaneously “cool” and “hot”. Well I don’t like that- so for once I’ve decided to support climate change.
The report demonstrates that “Bell Curve Degeneracy,” a metric developed exclusively for the report, increased from 0 to 307 between 2008 and 2012.
ASG Candidate Campaigning on “More Recess, Less Homework” Platform
EVANSTON—In high school, a hickey was a mark of shame to be covered up discreetly with pounds of makeup or a well-placed scarf. In college, many young women are finding that the only way to get a guy is if he thinks you already have gotten plenty beforehand. This shift has been a phenomenon which sociologists and playboy photographers alike have been busy investigating in great depth. “Nobody wants to be a girl’s first anymore,” said senior A.J. Thomson. “That
EVANSTON—Weinberg freshman Joe Krawson disappointed his high school graduating class on Monday when he received a failing grade on his macro-economics midterm exam, earning only 23 points out of a possible 50. Only 6 months prior, the 382 seniors of Krawson’s Washburn High School in San Diego, California had voted him the male student “most likely to succeed.” In his position as senior class president at Washburn, Krawson was well-liked for reducing detentions by 40% and for planning “the best
Dear Northwestern Flipside, All of my friends are already home from school. Will I ever get to go home? Your number one fan, Randolph K. Hassenpfeffer Well, Randy (I’m going to call you Randy whether you like it or not), the answer is quite simple: NO. You are in fact stuck here until you graduate. There is a secret clause in the housing agreement stating that all students are forbidden from being at home for more than a month while