Experts Confirm: Only Way to Win Affirmative Action Debate is to Keep Your Fucking Mouth Shut
Author Archives: Flippy
East Coast Students Celebrate Canceled Classes (Due to Hurricane That Will Most Likely Kill Dozens)
Romney, Stuck in 1970s, Stunned to Discover iPads Full of Women
Study: SCAPE Reduced Poverty in Greater Chicago Area by 70%
1 Dead, 4 Seriously Injured in Explosion; Blocked Lint Screen To Blame
NU Stores Platinum Gargoyles to Keep Parents Thinking They Pay Just Enough
Nobel Season Leaves Thousands of Bell-Ringers without Jobs
Bitter Freshman Loses Dorm Election; Questions Authenticity of Opponent’s NU Acceptance Letter
UChicago Eliminates Swim Test, As If Their Campus Wasn’t Dry Enough Already
Allison Changes Lunch Availability from 12:17-3:01 to 12:21 to 3:07 and ¾, to Make Things Easier to Remember