“It’s bad luck for a Sicilian to refuse any request on his daughter’s wedding day.”
Category Archives: No. 248
“He just kept saying ‘the p-value is above 5%, we just don’t have enough evidence to reject the null.’”
The Ukulele Club has been at the center of controversy beyond the mysterious disappearances of small animals during renditions of “Lucky.”
“I wish I could just go up to someone and ask, ‘Who is the head librarian?’ But I’m not allowed to talk or ask any questions, because it’s a library and I have to be absolutely silent.”
It is possible the club may never get the chance to stretch its wings, but instead have them be kind of crumpled and uneven. A few days ago, NU Paper Airplane club lodged a formal complaint with ASG, citing their exclusive monopoly on all organized paper-based folding activities.
“I’m glad they finally realized I don’t need radio in my DNA, or at all, ever, in any context.”
“After pumping hundreds of thousands of dollars into the Bait Unicycle program, it remains to be proven that it has caught one person trying to steal a dweeb-mobile.”
“When I first saw the bird, I was like ‘Oh, okay, I guess spring’s here,’” said Jason Kang, WCAS ’21.
“I genuinely believed he was asking me to proofread a short horror story for a good 30 minutes,” said Career Advisor Kerry Phillips.
Rumors suggest that Chesterton may be the elusive and mythical obnoxicus doucheium, or “busiest student.”