Ms. Path felt she should use her time and money to assist this poor family. Redhead Child is freezing! So, she immediately downloaded the app (for $4.99) and got to work.
On Wednesday afternoon, a female student at Porno Pizza committed the grave error of approaching the personal pie line while intending to order a slice. Eyewitnesses report that she was immediately seized and escorted to the rear of the establishment, where staff administered the punishment prescribed by the Porno Code, an adaptation of Hammurabi’s ancient legal statutes codified in grease-stained laminate. According to witnesses, the student pleaded for leniency. “I just wanted a slice,” she reportedly said. “I didn’t know.”
Fortunately, the buildings are already designed to allow them to monitor many more students with much less manpower.
In a revelation that has scandalized American evangelicals and other communities suffering from elevated rates of neurosis, Jesus Christ announced in a Xweet that the long-awaited Second Coming indeed took place midday Tuesday.
Other mashups have been even less successful, including “Anything but Clothes but Also Business Casual” when three pledges simply stapled ties to their balls.
With a Big Mac in one hand, and a concept of a plan in the other, the President got to work
“What happened to the first monkey jumping on the bed, while tragic, is in no way indicative of any wider trend. As long as we avoid his recklessness and stay away from the edge of the bed, I see no way that we can suffer a similar fate.” That quote was from Allen, the second monkey jumping on the bed, after his good friend, Sam, another monkey, had fallen off and bumped his head. Sam was diagnosed with a second-degree
Yesterday, the EpiPen files were released, concluding an RFK Jr.-ordered investigation that determined food allergies to be the root cause of autism.
A Northwestern student woke up on September 23rd expecting to find a dinosaur in her dorm room, ready to end her time on the mortal plane.
“If I ever see a star-not-on-belly Sneetch making pancakes, I’m going to be like ‘boy, I hope I don’t get food poisoning from these pancakes,’