“I don’t know whether it was the timing, or the wording, or the fact that Eric’s grandmother just died, but for some reason, me ironically mentioning my desire to ascend from this mortal plane wasn’t well-received,” said the student at the heart of this unprecedented development, who wishes to remain nameless.
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“Look, it’s just a bit of bad luck, but when the water level’s low, you know the tidal wave is coming soon. We just need like $500 spotted and this club will pay out, guaranteed,” reported club president and failing statistics major, Bobby Fletcher.
After reviewing the footage, Porter discovered that someone brought an apple to the party.
“It’s become some cheap extraction of real images made into a product of subjective manipulation with reality! Who’s gonna fap to that?” remarked the first-year, who admits to having no issues with using the school wi-fi
Melania could not be reached for comment, as she was busy staring out a White House window, her hand pressed against the cold glass, thinking of the days when she was a young girl and had nothing, and how much she took those days for granted.
After months of the budget crisis plaguing the university, Northwestern President Morton Shapiro issued a desperate message to investors not to worry because “In Shapiro-Bucks, we’re fine!”.
“I’m really the whole package,” Schmidt said. “What lovely lady wouldn’t want a man with a sharp wit and nearly a dozen followers on his blog?”
Her professor disclosed that Nolan received a thirty percent on her midterm.
Area freshman Hugo Baxter officially hit rock bottom Thursday morning after he opened his email only to find a formal letter of rejection for a summer internship position at wildly mediocre children’s entertainment center and restaurant, Chuck E. Cheese. Sources close to Baxter have shared that the Chuck E. Cheese gig was the last hurrah for the McCormick student, after a devastating fall quarter of rejections from all of Baxter’s dream positions at literally every single reputable firm under the