“Havana” Likely Playing In Plex Dining Hall Right Now
âEvery time I hear her go âHavana ooh nana,â a little part of me dies inside, and I feel my soul slowly wither away.”
Category Archives: Local
Frontera Fresco In Norris Now Open Just 15 Minutes A Week
Beginning this quarter, the Frontera Fresco Mexican grill located in the Norris Center will now be open just fifteen minutes a week, from 4:30 A.M. to 4:45 A.M.
Student Lands Dream Job, Too Bad It Wasnât You
Celebrating the end of a successful college career full of lifelong friendships and treasured experiences that will never be forgotten, a lucky student has had their hard work rewarded by landing the one job that combines both their passion and career goals. Unfortunately, it was not you.
NU Sex Week Shrinkage Attributed To The Cold
âIt’s not usually like this. It just seems smaller because the cold forced us to cancel some events, I swear.”
Student Whoâs Watched 243 Hours of Netflix This Quarter Pissed about 30-Hour DM Commitment
âI mean, I feel like I could do DM in one afternoon and get the same out of it,â continued the same person who watched every season of American Dad at least three times.
Public Masturbator Spotted in Evanston Foretells Six More Weeks of Winter
âYou go almost the entire winter, and you think, âmaybe this season Iâll make it through without seeing some dude Jack-Frosting it outside my dorm, but thatâs just how March goes.â
Your Future Roommate Plans to Continue Beekeeping in the Dorms
According to the person you think you know well enough to commit in advance to sharing a room with, the coming and going of the drones gathering pollen shouldnât bother you.
Area Student Finally Gains Enough Experience Points to Graduate
“It was good I had the cheat code that got me an entry-level position at my dadâs consulting firm.”
PHA Bans Ritual Sacrifice of Ugliest Rushee This Year
âSo, like, okay. The idea is that by burning a girl at the stake weâre making her sort of like a phoenix, where she dies all weak and gross but rises from the ashes in the image of sorority excellence.”
Northwestern Postpones Big Game Park Due to Budget Concerns
This setback comes after the delay of the new student center, forcing Morty to try and combine funding for the two projects by seeking out a donor with an interest both in improving the student experience and hunting exotic animals.