The Flipside’s Guide to Finance
These lucrative tips have made our illustrious paper the 10th wealthiest bi-weekly satirical publication on campus, and once you’ve read this article, you’ll have no excuse not to be rich.
Category Archives: Articles
John Travolta Leads Northwestern Campus Tour
Travolta pointed out academic buildings such as “Kierkegaard,” “Luddite,” “Annabel,” and, of course, “Trick Inspector.” The hopeful teenagers walked under “The Ache,” observed the beautifully painted “Rob,” and Instagrammed pictures of Chicago from the grassy “Lank Flank.”
PA Group Reunion Dinner About as Awkward as You Would Expect
“I thought this would be a fun way for us to reconnect and catch up!” said Peer Advisor Jeanine Houston, whose outward enthusiasm in no way reflects the horrible sense of clinging despair she feels at the prospect of this idea being an absolute piece of shit.
What Is The Flipside Giving up for Lent?
Attempting to Write Sports Articles: Look, we aren’t athletes. Hell, most of us haven’t even gone to a game this year. But we try our hardest. We like to think that we’re as good at caring about sports as the athletes are at playing them.
Supreme Court Considers Whether Dancing for 30 Hours Is “Cruel and Unusual”
Charleston and the ACLU claim that dancing for so long is both “degrading to human dignity” and “patently unnecessary,” thereby meeting two of the principles that would render the punishment “cruel and unusual.”
Rare Black Northface Fleece Lost at the Deuce
“I mean, people lose things occasionally, but a black Northface? At the Deuce? That’s one of the most horrible and unfortunate news items I’ve ever seen on the Internet.”
Northwestern Launches “Mortcoin” Cryptocurrency
“We’re hoping by next year students will be able to exchange their Mortcoins for Norbucks Bucks and Frontero Dineros.”
[Denial Issue] The Best Ways to Get Toned and Tan for Spring Break
Dig into that Ben and Jerry’s core because you’ll need a solid layer of blubber to sport spring’s latest trends before it breaks 45°F in June.
[Denial Issue] Tech: The Best Building on Campus
“Its rectangular layout ensures you can’t ever get lost,” said Lisa Forbes, McCormick senior.
[Denial Issue] We Tried Really Hard to Deny It, but ASG Still Sucks
In a week where all flaws of Northwestern were glossed over, reporters of The Flipside were baffled to realize that nothing can smooth over the abyss of Associate Student Government. There’s no denying it: ASG outright sucks.