Mom’s Judging Harder to Ignore During Summer
Apart from increased opportunities for face-to-face maternal judgment, sudden discoveries of school-year secrets also contribute to July’s status as the golden days of parental condescension.
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Standoff Ends, Sit-In Begins
“If this continues much longer, we’ll have to lay down the law.”
Waa-Mu Cast Dies of Dysentery
“If it’s not dysentery, it’s cholera. Or exhaustion. We even had four different potential cast members break all of their legs in separate, unrelated incidents.”
Math Professor Honestly Doesn’t Even Know
Class suck up and economics major Margo Sanders commented, “Every time I ask him questions, he scribbles illegibly on the board, and shrugs his shoulders as if I magically understand his hieroglyphics.”
Professor: Okay. Sent from my iPhone.
Olstead said that she deduced the email was sent from the professor’s iPhone.
Morty Drops Mixtape at 3 a.m.
Tuition Hike has already been met with intense scrutiny by some of the most renowned critics in the music industry.
Lottery Winner Spends Entire Winnings on Lottery
In an interview with The Flipside, Withers said that after “minutes upon minutes” of non-impulsive consideration, she felt that this was the most guaranteed way to continue making money off of her winnings.
Student Comes Out to Parents As SESP Transfer
With family weekend imminent, former engineer and freshman Cole Thompson finally came out to his parents as an SESP transfer. “I just had to—I couldn’t keep living a lie,” Cole said.
OPINION: Let’s Start a Dialogue
But before we start this dialogue, we should have another dialogue regarding the “ground rules” for this dialogue to ensure that the actual dialogue we have is as fruitless and inoffensive as possible.
Self-Published Author Sells Exactly as Many Copies as He Expected
Self-published author and stay-at-home dad Roger Slate proudly announced this past weekend that his latest novel Long Live Louis King met his lofty goal of selling thirty-five copies.