In a revelation that has scandalized American evangelicals and other communities suffering from elevated rates of neurosis, Jesus Christ announced in a Xweet that the long-awaited Second Coming indeed took place midday Tuesday.
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Latest in Local
Local Empath Helps out Homeless Woman and Child by Matching Pieces of Furniture to Build Better Pieces of Furniture to Decorate Their Shack
Ms. Path felt she should use her time and money to assist this poor family. Redhead Child is freezing! So, she immediately downloaded the app (for $4.99) and got to work.
Frances Searle Hall, Foster-Walker Complex, and other Northwestern Panopticons
Northwestern University Institutes New Sustainability Policy: Frats Recycling Same 5 Themes for the Quarter
Breaking: Girl finds out that the rapture has nothing to do with velociraptors “I thought it was, like, the same thing?”
Local Empath Helps out Homeless Woman and Child by Matching Pieces of Furniture to Build Better Pieces of Furniture to Decorate Their Shack
Ms. Path felt she should use her time and money to assist this poor family. Redhead Child is freezing! So, she immediately downloaded the app (for $4.99) and got to work.
Frances Searle Hall, Foster-Walker Complex, and other Northwestern Panopticons
Northwestern University Institutes New Sustainability Policy: Frats Recycling Same 5 Themes for the Quarter
Breaking: Girl finds out that the rapture has nothing to do with velociraptors “I thought it was, like, the same thing?”
Latest in Opinion
Op-Ed: I Can’t Laugh at a Joke Unless It’s Accompanied by an Article That Reiterates the Joke in Less Funny Terms for 200 Words
The title says it all.
Op-Ed: I Can’t Laugh at a Joke Unless It’s Accompanied by an Article That Reiterates the Joke in Less Funny Terms for 200 Words
The title says it all.
Latest in Ask Flippy
Ask Flippy: Do you have the right to bear arms?
Dear Flippy, So I recently got arrested for something. Don’t ask me what. Anyways, while I was sitting
Ask Flippy: Do you have the right to bear arms?
Dear Flippy, So I recently got arrested for something. Don’t ask me what. Anyways, while I was sitting
Latest in Entertainment
Breaking: Girl finds out that the rapture has nothing to do with velociraptors “I thought it was, like, the same thing?”
A Northwestern student woke up on September 23rd expecting to find a dinosaur in her dorm room, ready to end her time on the mortal plane.
Breaking: Girl finds out that the rapture has nothing to do with velociraptors “I thought it was, like, the same thing?”
A Northwestern student woke up on September 23rd expecting to find a dinosaur in her dorm room, ready to end her time on the mortal plane.
Local Empath Helps out Homeless Woman and Child by Matching Pieces of Furniture to Build Better Pieces of Furniture to Decorate Their Shack
Ms. Path felt she should use her time and money to assist this poor family. Redhead Child is freezing! So, she immediately downloaded the app (for $4.99) and got to work.
Student Punished for Line Violation at Porno Pizza; Hammurabi’s Code Invoked.
On Wednesday afternoon, a female student at Porno Pizza committed the grave error of approaching the personal pie line while intending to order a slice. Eyewitnesses report that she was immediately seized and escorted to the rear of the establishment, where staff administered the punishment prescribed by the Porno Code, an adaptation of Hammurabi’s ancient legal statutes codified in grease-stained laminate. According to witnesses, the student pleaded for leniency. “I just wanted a slice,” she reportedly said. “I didn’t know.”
Frances Searle Hall, Foster-Walker Complex, and other Northwestern Panopticons
Fortunately, the buildings are already designed to allow them to monitor many more students with much less manpower.
Jesus Announces That No One Qualified for Rapture
In a revelation that has scandalized American evangelicals and other communities suffering from elevated rates of neurosis, Jesus Christ announced in a Xweet that the long-awaited Second Coming indeed took place midday Tuesday.