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  • Breaking: Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq To Come Out of Hiding After Dick Cheney’s Death

    As news of the death of former Vice President Dick Cheney made its way to Iraq, the Weapons of Mass Destruction began to emerge from hiding after a 22-year disappearance.

    Read more
  • IKEA Tells People to Stop Having Sex in Ramnefjälls and Tonstads on Display Floor

    IKEA apparently decided the world needed a reminder that their display beds are not to be used for fooling around.

    Read more
  • Ask Flippy: What is the best ratio of razor blades to candy to give to trick or treaters?

    Buy as many razor blades as candy (hypodermic needles work too) and place them inside the candy. Snickers are my favorite, but other similar candies are acceptable. It helps to build a reputation as “the Snickers house” so kids come back.

    Read more
  • Wellbeing: Learn To Take Things With A Grain Of Salt And A Gram Of Coke

    Salt gives perspective. Coke delivers results.

    Read more
  • Trump to start nuclear testing on animals “Like How Sephora does it”

    President Donald Trump, calm and measured as always, announced plans to resume nuclear testing last Thursday while at a trade meeting in South Korea. Trump

    Read more

Latest in Nation

Breaking: Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq To Come Out of Hiding After Dick Cheney’s Death

November 10, 2025

As news of the death of former Vice President Dick Cheney made its way to Iraq, the Weapons of Mass Destruction began to emerge from hiding after a 22-year disappearance.

Read more

New York Mayoral Result to be Decided by Anubis, Losers’ Souls Eaten by Ammit

November 3, 2025

With just one day to go until the New York City mayoral election, anticipation is running high and

Read more

Jesus Announces That No One Qualified for Rapture

October 6, 2025

In a revelation that has scandalized American evangelicals and other communities suffering from elevated rates of neurosis, Jesus Christ announced in a Xweet that the long-awaited Second Coming indeed took place midday Tuesday.

Read more

Days After Charlie Kirk’s Assassination, Old Tweets Attacking the Star-Not-On-Belly Sneetches Resurface

September 24, 2025

“If I ever see a star-not-on-belly Sneetch making pancakes, I’m going to be like ‘boy, I hope I don’t get food poisoning from these pancakes,’

Read more

Latest in Local

“We just don’t know why he crossed” – Chicken found dead halfway across Sheridan during noon rush

November 4, 2025

Heartbroken and shocked members of the Northwestern community came together last Friday at the Rock to mourn the loss of community fixture Chicken, who was found dead last week in the middle of Sheridan Road.

Ask Flippy: If thinking makes me am, is am I thinking because am I is?

October 27, 2025

Northwestern Fight Song to Become Enlightened Disagreement Song

October 16, 2025

Forno Pizza Faces Campus Backlash After Unveiling New Slogan “Oh Yeah, Put It In Your Dirty Little Mouth”

October 12, 2025

Latest in Opinion

Op-Ed: I Can’t Laugh at a Joke Unless It’s Accompanied by an Article That Reiterates the Joke in Less Funny Terms for 200 Words

May 27, 2025

The title says it all.

Op-Ed: Boeing 747? More Like, More Like Boing Boing Boing Boing Boing Boing Boing (740 More Times)

May 19, 2025

Op-ed: I’d be way better at scooping up red goop than that fuckass robot arm

May 14, 2025

Op-Ed: Sometimes You Have to Stand Up For What You Believe In and That’s Why I’m Chaining Myself to the Evanston Chili’s

April 7, 2025

Latest in Ask Flippy

Ask Flippy: What is the best ratio of razor blades to candy to give to trick or treaters?

November 7, 2025

Buy as many razor blades as candy (hypodermic needles work too) and place them inside the candy. Snickers are my favorite, but other similar candies are acceptable. It helps to build a reputation as “the Snickers house” so kids come back.

Ask Flippy: How can I laugh at this? There’s no “6 7,” “FAH” audio, or Don Pollo clips

October 30, 2025

Ask Flippy: If thinking makes me am, is am I thinking because am I is?

October 27, 2025

Ask Flippy: Do you have the right to bear arms?

May 8, 2025

Latest in Entertainment

Breaking: Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq To Come Out of Hiding After Dick Cheney’s Death

November 10, 2025

As news of the death of former Vice President Dick Cheney made its way to Iraq, the Weapons of Mass Destruction began to emerge from hiding after a 22-year disappearance.

“We just don’t know why he crossed” – Chicken found dead halfway across Sheridan during noon rush

November 4, 2025

Ask Flippy: If thinking makes me am, is am I thinking because am I is?

October 27, 2025

Breaking: Girl finds out that the rapture has nothing to do with velociraptors “I thought it was, like, the same thing?”

September 29, 2025

Breaking: Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq To Come Out of Hiding After Dick Cheney’s Death

November 10, 2025 Flippy Leave a comment

As news of the death of former Vice President Dick Cheney made its way to Iraq, the Weapons of Mass Destruction began to emerge from hiding after a 22-year disappearance.

Read more Articles, Entertainment, Featured, Latest News, Nation, No. 421, Politics, World, Year 18

IKEA Tells People to Stop Having Sex in Ramnefjälls and Tonstads on Display Floor

November 8, 2025 Caroline Altschul Leave a comment

IKEA apparently decided the world needed a reminder that their display beds are not to be used for fooling around.

Read more Articles, Business, Featured, Latest News, No. 420, World, Year 18

Ask Flippy: What is the best ratio of razor blades to candy to give to trick or treaters?

November 7, 2025 Flippy Leave a comment

Buy as many razor blades as candy (hypodermic needles work too) and place them inside the candy. Snickers are my favorite, but other similar candies are acceptable. It helps to build a reputation as “the Snickers house” so kids come back.

Read more Articles, Ask Flippy, Featured, Latest News, No. 420, Year 18

Wellbeing: Learn To Take Things With A Grain Of Salt And A Gram Of Coke

November 6, 2025 Caroline Altschul Leave a comment

Salt gives perspective. Coke delivers results.

Read more Articles, Featured, Latest News, No. 420, Year 18

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