A&O Ball Mosh Pit 90% Swaying, 10% Frat Boys Itching To Punch A Woman
“If I get arrested one more time, my parents are gonna cut my allowance to only 5k a month.”
“They Cut Me Out, And Now It’s Time To Pay,” Cackles A Third Johnson In New Blackmail Video
“Because of my unbeatable toe fungus, I was the one voted out of the company.”
El Mencho Killed By Mexican Forces, El Muncho (Me) Next
You get a little too amorous with somebody in the passenger seat of a 2002 Subaru WRX outside of a Denny’s ONE TIME, and suddenly, it’s all you can ever be known for.
From the Archives: Flippy’s Mischievous but Good-Hearted Sidekick, Jumpy, Killed in Firefight with Vietcong Forces Outside Saigon (1968)
Flipside can now confirm that Jumpy, Flippy’s mischievous sidekick, was among the 10 Americans killed in the early morning hours of February 3rd, 1968.
Cockapoo, Chiweenie, Neapolitan Mastiff, and 5 other dog breeds that double as names for your dih
Is your dih both classy and girthy? Does it have lots of wrinkles and loose skin? Consider naming it Neopolitan Mastiff!
Booktok’s New Sensation, A Forbidden Romance Between A 6’4 Reformed Playboy ICE Agent And The 4’11 Mixed-Race Honduran Maid He’s Deporting Hits Shelves This Week
ICED OUT, the newest novel by New York Times Best Selling Author Phoebe Horn, is expected to hit shelves across the nation later this week.
Breaking: Scorned Chicagoans Contemplate Releasing Lil Durk from Prison to Kill Matthew Stafford
After the Chicago Bears’ brutal overtime loss to the Los Angeles Rams ruined their chances of advancing into the playoffs, the most diehard Bears fans–many of whom have not felt joy since 1985–concocted a scheme so crazy it might just work. On Monday, January 19th, just one day after the loss, Chicago’s 6th and 16th Wards approved a plan to forcefully facilitate the release of rapper Durk Devontay Banks from prison in exchange for his service in assassinating the Rams’
Democrats launch controversial “when necessary, use profanity” campaign to combat the presence of ICE
As the old adage goes, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will spearhead
the complete reconstruction of my political and social climate.”
Breaking: Last Surviving Member of Anti-vax Boy Band Dies at 13
Tragic news for the alternative medicine community this week as Ben Hanson, former bassist of antivax boy band Granolaz, died from measles at age 13 in his Kalamazoo, MI home. Hanson was the last surviving Granolaz member following the death of Alex Jorgensen—the only band member to reach puberty—from tetanus-related illness in April. Hanson’s mother, alternative media figure Janice Hanson, was devastated by her son’s death. “I just don’t understand how this could’ve happened,” Janice told us. “I gave him enough vitamin A supplements to turn
Gardening 101: How to Avoid Common mistakes like Growing Rhododendrons in Alkaline Soil, Planting Bulbs Too Early, and Getting an Entire Gnome Lodged in your Rectum
I made this guide for all levels of gardeners to avoid making the same mistakes as me.
From the archives: “Is that a gun or are you just happy to see me? Both! History’s most sexually-charged assassinations”
Following the recent wave of assassinations, people have been quick to point the finger at whomever they most distrust, from Radical Left Lunatics to Christian fundamentalism. Here I will examine how overwhelming sexual desires that drove people to murder with 4 famous cases of sexually-charged assassinations, according to NU econ and history professor and passed-up Nobel Prize nominee Dr. John Hornington. Roman Emperor Commodus strangled by his wrestling partner “Of all Roman Emperor assassinations, this one seemed the most fitting,”
Rolling Stone’s “Top 500 Epstein List Names” to Include R. Kelly at #1 After Criticisms of Black Underrepresentation
“With all the Trump administration has done to hinder our recognition of Black success in America, Rolling Stone has done our community a great disservice by underrepresenting Black people in its Epstein list article,” said one longtime Black Rolling Stone reader.