A&O Ball Mosh Pit 90% Swaying, 10% Frat Boys Itching To Punch A Woman
“If I get arrested one more time, my parents are gonna cut my allowance to only 5k a month.”
“They Cut Me Out, And Now It’s Time To Pay,” Cackles A Third Johnson In New Blackmail Video
“Because of my unbeatable toe fungus, I was the one voted out of the company.”
Ask Flippy: Do you have the right to bear arms?
Dear Flippy, So I recently got arrested for something. Don’t ask me what. Anyways, while I was sitting in the clink, I thought, you know, now would be a great time to reread my pocket Constitution, primarily because I was bored but also because there is a very real possibility I could go to prison. Anyways, when I pulled that Constitution out of my pocket, I saw something that made me think of you, my sweet, sweet bear friend: the
Heartbreaking: Girl who posted on her Instagram story “logging off for a bit, text me if you need to talk to me” contacted by no one
But then she went on Instagram reels and was emotionally healed.
If My Dad Saw That Frisbee Game He Would’ve Beat Me, And I Deserved It Oh Yeah I’ve Been A Bad Boy
In all my four weeks of hardcore, intensive, extensive, rough-and-rowdy intramural frisbee, I’ve never seen a game like the one we put on last week. Now, yes, I know that this team isn’t exactly the 2012 San Francisco Giants, but goddammit that performance we put on could make an angel want to jump of a bridge.
Top 5 Fruits and Veggies the Headless Horseman Tried Before Pumpkins
Before the headless horseman got his start scaring folks of all ages with his iconic jack-o-lantern head, he actually went through a—surprisingly rough—experimental phase to see what produce would work best. Here are 5 of our favorites!
Ask Flippy: I (19M) recently saw the last Sarge grilled cheese sandwich (~0.001Unknown) taken by an elderly diabetic woman (104F) and proceeded to fuck her up with my glock (9MM), AITA?
After long, draining days of blowing off classes and clubs to watch Family Guy Youtube shorts and sleepless nights of blowing off homework to watch Family Guy Youtube shorts, I need a refresher to get me going again, and nothing does it quite like a Sarge dining hall grilled cheese. Something magical is in the air at Sarge (and I’m not talking about zaza) that turns two slices of white bread and kraft cheese into the ambrosia of the gods.
From an alternate universe where Kanye West stayed sane and won the 2024 election: I really like our new national anthem, Father Stretch my Hands Pt. 1, but do I need to sing the bleached asshole part?
Like the other 150,000,000 people who voted for him, I’m happy with how Yeezy is running this country. Our economy and military have become harder, better, faster, and stronger in responding to foreign aggression. The brilliant financial strategies of the new Fed Chair Pusha T have stopped inflation and reduced the pre-existing economic conditions that created the infamous Gold Diggers. However, I can’t ignore the Pablo Bill which has given us a new national anthem–his 2016 hit song, “Father Stretch
Stop listening to Lorde and starting listening to the Lord #godbless
On Wednesday night, every sad girl and gay rose from their slumber to stream the new song by Charli XCX Lorde. As a NOT gay person, I took a listen myself and noticed that the song was quite inappropriate and…unholy. In the first line of the chorus, she sings about taking MDMA and smoking the “best cigarette of [her] life”…uh, promoting hard drugs? Only a few days after Easter? I don’t think so! Besides, we all know poppers are the better choice
Tariffs on China see Temu prices skyrocketing to as high as 20 dollars
Tariffs on China see Temu prices skyrocketing to as high as 20 dollars By: Stephen Walsh “I was devastated, absolutely devastated. I thought to myself, ‘It can’t happen here, can it?’ But it can, and it has, and may the Lord have mercy on us all for our transgressions.” Those are the words of a distraught Scott Smith, a local man whose Temu shopping habits have been deeply impacted by Trump’s trade war with China. As he was checking out
Why CTECs Need An “Abysmal Dogshit” Option
Seven paragraphs of a scorned freshman’s unhinged ramblings on their “satan-spawn” Gen Chem Professor can be replaced with two simple words that convey the same thoughts.
My roommate is addicted to “the hub?” Why would anyone jerk off to a GitHub repository?
My roommate recently confided his deepest, darkest secret to me: whenever I’m not in the room, he watches “the Hub” and masturbates.