Primal Scream Occurs Early This Year on National Boyfriend Day
The police report revealed countless moans of varying pitches and intensities accompanied by loud banging around 9 PM on Tuesday.
Author Archives: Flippy
University Renames North and South Campus as Left Brain Campus and Right Brain Campus
âWho are we fooling with this âone cohesive campusâ bullshit?â, added an anonymous tour guide.
Diversity TND Teaches White Jewish Freshmen from the Chicago Area Theyâre Not Alone
Morty: âWe have students from more Chicago suburbs than ever before; as a matter of fact, we only took 40 kids from ETHS this year!â
Happiness Club Stresses No Experience Necessary
Sophomore Brandon Wong says that heâs looking forward to another year and encourages students to give it a shot, even if joy âisnât really their thing.â
Civil Engineering Students Finish Sheridan Construction in Cocaine Bender
âStraight lines of paint are much harder than straight lines of coke, yâknow? I think we nailed it, though.â
Freshman Sees God through Complimentary Cru Glasses
âThe sunglasses definitely drew me in, but then I was being asked if I wanted a personal relationship with God in order to rid me of my sins, and I thought, âwhy the hell not?ââ
Sophomore to Redirect All Questions About Her Summer to Her Instagram
An overly nonchalant caption, exclusively in lowercase letters and overwhelmingly blasé, follows each post.
Ask Flippy: At What Point Should My Taxi Driverâs Yelling âSHIT SHIT SHITâ Be Concerning?
Currently, he is yelling frantically into his Bluetooth in fast-paced Spanish, interspersed with the occasional âSHIT SHIT SHITâ as he pounds the dash. Should I be worried?
I’m so happy it’s not actually thunderstormig – Dillo 2017
“DRAM is bopping he’s so jazzy and smooth I love this but also when do I get redrunk.”
Sophomore Shotgunning PBR at 8 am Feeling Ambitious Today
He then proceeded to turn on the shower to wash off all the excess beer that had dribbled down his neck and chest.