Category Archives: Featured

Ask Flippy: Cargo Pants Beep Beep, Traingo Pants Choo Choo, Boatgo Pants Though? 

Dearest Flippy,  It was clear since I got my first pair of cargo pants that cargo beep beep–possibly even vroom vroom, depending on the engine. Traingo pants, naturally, go choo choo. It should be noted, however, that choo choo is only a part of the traingo pants. Traingo pants also chugga chugga, which often precedes the aforementioned choo choo.  Boatpants, however, remain a trickier quandary to wrestle with. Boat does not go vroom or choo. Although I should note the

Hey BBG, Just Went To A Train convention And It Reminded Me How Much I Miss You

I been thinking about what did us in. I was wrong to ask if you’d be cool getting a train run on you by me and my homies—I know that now. I’m sorry, girl. It shoulda just been me and you—head and caboose.I been thinking about what did us in. I was wrong to ask if you’d be cool getting a train run on you by me and my homies—I know that now. I’m sorry, girl. It shoulda just been me and you—head and caboose.

Nuclear Family Splits In Incredible Explosion

You think your parents’ divorce (your fault) was bad? Just you sit your pretty little sweet hottight ass down and wait, because while most divorces can be awfully messy, NOTHING,compares to this, because this nuclear family split in an incredible explosion. Scientists at Los Alamos National Laboratory had been studying the family of Duncan McOkinerand his now ex-wife Sinead (née Meadhbh), as well as their two children Martin and Julie, forover two years before their split in an incredible explosion

All This Catholic Bishop Stuff is Making Me Feel Like a Pawn Again

And that’s why it pains me so to see these other bishops and princes of the church milling about at the Vatican during this time, pretending that they’re deep in prayer while in reality we know that the “conclave” is really just a great fuck fantasy, acting so holier-than-thou like Bishop Lombardo once did.

Ask Flippy: Do you have the right to bear arms?

Dear Flippy, So I recently got arrested for something. Don’t ask me what. Anyways, while I was sitting in the clink, I thought, you know, now would be a great time to reread my pocket Constitution, primarily because I was bored but also because there is a very real possibility I could go to prison. Anyways, when I pulled that Constitution out of my pocket, I saw something that made me think of you, my sweet, sweet bear friend: the

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