Scheming Eunuch Ben Auby Has NOTHING To Do With Ominous Fog Descending Over EvanstonĀ
I mean, come on, it says āScheming Eunuch, weather sorcererā on his driverās license.
Category Archives: Local
Stop listening to Lorde and starting listening to the Lord #godbless
On Wednesday night, every sad girl and gay rose from their slumber to stream the new song by Charli XCX Lorde. As a NOT gay person, I took a listen myself and noticed that the song was quite inappropriate andā¦unholy. In the first line of the chorus, she sings about taking MDMA and smoking the ābest cigarette of [her] lifeā…uh, promoting hard drugs? Only a few days after Easter? I donāt think so! Besides, we all know poppers are the better choice
My roommate is addicted to āthe hub?ā Why would anyone jerk off to a GitHub repository?
My roommate recently confided his deepest, darkest secret to me: whenever Iām not in the room, he watches āthe Hubā and masturbates.
From the Archives: From the Future: From the Archives: From the Future: Local Man Stuck in Time Loop
For example, eyewitnesses to the events at the police station have corroborated his testimony that several police officers woulddid indeed pull their service weapons when, as Oxlong predicted, after he threatened to blow up the building.
Northwestern says it may not necessarily bow down to Trump’s demands but it may dabble in a little curtsyļæ¼
This week, while Harvard put out a statement saying that it would not acquiesce to Trumpās demands, Northwestern took a more Victorian approach.
Ask Flippy: Is your OF content ethically sourced? I want to goon ethically
Firstly, Iāll ask you to remember that there is no truly ethical consumption ācontentā and that even small creators are still participating in a system that increases the inequality/exploitation that hides this industry from oversight. It suffocates those it takes advantage of who are trying to exact change at the grander level, buried by a number of interconnected goonbait systems.
Northwestern to Donate Her Eggs to Make Up Her Missing Funds
Northwestern discovered that she can make, on average, $10,000 per donation cycle for her eggs. That means she would only need to sell her eggs 79,000 times, which is basically nothing.
Ask Flippy: if my professor shits himself during class, should I address it or shit harder in solidarity?
I noticed that my professor’s–excuse my French–derriere had grown exponentially in size. His butt, like an atomic bomb, absolutely mushroomed and I was wondering why.
I Thought My “Severing” Procedure Would Help With My Work/Life Balance, Instead They Just Cut My Balls Off!
Now I admit, I was a little off-put when I saw the large number of cats and dogs in the waiting room, but I figured he was just an animal lover, not that he was about to divorce my thing-1-and-thing-2 from the rest of my body with the same clinical precision of a Civil War amputation doctor.
Op-Ed: Sometimes You Have to Stand Up For What You Believe In and Thatās Why Iām Chaining Myself to the Evanston Chiliās
Do you think I chose Northwestern for the academics, the extracurriculars, or the community? No! I chose it for the Evanston Chiliās.