My roommate is addicted to “the hub?” Why would anyone jerk off to a GitHub repository?
My roommate recently confided his deepest, darkest secret to me: whenever I’m not in the room, he watches “the Hub” and masturbates.
Category Archives: Local
From the Archives: From the Future: From the Archives: From the Future: Local Man Stuck in Time Loop
For example, eyewitnesses to the events at the police station have corroborated his testimony that several police officers woulddid indeed pull their service weapons when, as Oxlong predicted, after he threatened to blow up the building.
Northwestern says it may not necessarily bow down to Trump’s demands but it may dabble in a little curtsy
This week, while Harvard put out a statement saying that it would not acquiesce to Trump’s demands, Northwestern took a more Victorian approach.
Ask Flippy: Is your OF content ethically sourced? I want to goon ethically
Firstly, I’ll ask you to remember that there is no truly ethical consumption “content” and that even small creators are still participating in a system that increases the inequality/exploitation that hides this industry from oversight. It suffocates those it takes advantage of who are trying to exact change at the grander level, buried by a number of interconnected goonbait systems.
Northwestern to Donate Her Eggs to Make Up Her Missing Funds
Northwestern discovered that she can make, on average, $10,000 per donation cycle for her eggs. That means she would only need to sell her eggs 79,000 times, which is basically nothing.
Ask Flippy: if my professor shits himself during class, should I address it or shit harder in solidarity?
I noticed that my professor’s–excuse my French–derriere had grown exponentially in size. His butt, like an atomic bomb, absolutely mushroomed and I was wondering why.
I Thought My “Severing” Procedure Would Help With My Work/Life Balance, Instead They Just Cut My Balls Off!
Now I admit, I was a little off-put when I saw the large number of cats and dogs in the waiting room, but I figured he was just an animal lover, not that he was about to divorce my thing-1-and-thing-2 from the rest of my body with the same clinical precision of a Civil War amputation doctor.
Op-Ed: Sometimes You Have to Stand Up For What You Believe In and That’s Why I’m Chaining Myself to the Evanston Chili’s
Do you think I chose Northwestern for the academics, the extracurriculars, or the community? No! I chose it for the Evanston Chili’s.
From a universe where nothing ever goes wrong: I have a mouth, but I don’t need to scream :)
Well golly-gee-good-morning, world! My name is John J. Johnson, and I have the best life ever!
Somebody Put Ben Down He’s Drunk On Star Power
Everybody’s seen somebody go on a power trip before. Police officers when they pull over people, that kid that was supposed to watch over the class while the teacher went out to go use the bathroom, Joseph Stalin, just to name a few. But never before has a power trip been as dangerous as this one, never before has one rush of authority to somebody’s head been as dangerous as this. For God’s sake, somebody put Ben down, he’s drunk