[His Campus] Dear McCormick…
This week, His Campus’s weekly advice column tackles three thorny issues: how to deal with parents, methods to become “better-endowed,” and what to do if you like a girl.
Category Archives: Opinion
[His Campus] Reverse Engineering: Brassieres
This week, weâre addressing your most-requested issue: the mechanics of The Bra. It may be intimidating, but don’t let your inexperience supersede any opportunity to study this phenomena in the field. Today, we’re focusing on the first step, removal.
Why are You Bringing Your Camera to Dillo Day? No, Seriously.
Do you really think youâre going to treasure that grainy photo of Big Boi in twenty years? Or in a month? Does Youtube really need more low-res Reel Big Fish footage?
The Good and The Bad: Markwell Edition
The “I Agree With Markwell” campaign has taken the Northwestern campus by storm. Here is a detailed breakdown of its pros and cons: The Good -It’s something to talk about instead of the bad weather. -If you agree hard enough you get a free indulgence. -Hipsters who are trying to be ironic and contrarian against the backlash to his campaign agree. -Nary a soul has been lost on this campaign because they asked for directions, unlike that stubborn Moses. -The
I Don’t Agree with Markwell: Fraiche Cinnamon Bombs are Delicious
Our campus exploded with debate this week over the âI agree with Markwellâ campaign that was chalked across the sidewalks. While I believe that Markwell certainly has some valid points regarding theism and divinity, we must also consider that Fraiche CafĂ©âs Cinnamon Bomb cupcakes are delicious. Perhaps Jesus Christ can lead me to an afterlife of eternal happiness, but each Cinnamon Bomb leads me to spice rack nirvana when it explodes with flavorful holiness in my mouth. And He can
Where Are They Now?: The Fucksaw
This report continues our series âWhere Are They Now?â This weekâs installment was written by Northwesternâs infamous Fucksaw. By The Fucksaw Hey, itâs nice to see you all again. Iâve been pretty busy. In and out, you know. As I always say, when life gives you lemons, penetrate them. Iâll be frank with you. I wasnât that happy with how they treated me in the media, being new to Northwestern and all. It was like all these parents spending $200,000
Non-Greek Night: A Live Blog
5:52 PM â Weekend time! Got my midterms behind me and an awesome weekend with absolutely zero responsibility ahead of me! Time to celebrate! Whooooooo! 6:23 PM â Celebrating with Hot Cookie Bar at Allison! God damn that tastes good! This is what college is all about, right here! Who needs the Greek system anyways? 7:13 PM â Just getting a little History homework out of the way, then itâs party time! 7:56 PM â Here we go! Swiped a
SOPA Uproar Leads Area Man to Discover Internet for First Time
A special editorial from area man Bob McCulloghy So this past Sunday night, I was flipping through the most recent issue of Life Magazine, watching some good oleâ public broadcast television â and I heard about this SOPA thing. Barbara Calhoun was reporting that if SOPA happened, this thing called âThe Internetâ would start getting regulated by the government. Now Iâm not normally one to judge the government â theyâve never done anything to me. Every day, I wake up
10 Points for Hufflepuff: A Magical Account of a Freshman’s Halloween Night
The following document was discovered on the bathroom floor of the North-Mid Quads Hall on the morning of November 1, 2011. Written in a hurried scrawl on parchment, our editors did their best to decipher the piece, allegedly written after the local Psi-Phi Fraternityâs themed party: I think the scar really did the trick. Through the glow of the club lights, I could tell Beth was down for some snogging. We locked eyes from across the room, she in her
Girl In 6 Courses Dreads CAESAR Above All Else
EVANSTON – With only several weeks before Spring quarter finals, some students are beginning to feel the pressure to perform well on final exams before the summer begins. However, this is not the case for Cynthia Tan, who will be finishing her second year in electrical engineering and is currently part of the BS/MS program. Though her two weeks in June are packed with exams and papers for the six courses she has been juggling throughout the quarter, Tan anticipates