Op-Ed: There are Only 25 Days of Christmas and None of Them are in November
If you’ve already started playing your favorite holiday playlist on Spotify you need to back the fuck up.
Category Archives: Opinion
Op-Ed: I Like the Cold But I Wouldn’t Let My Daughter Date It
I’m not paranoid calling a shoveling service when I see snow piling up in my driveway I just don’t think it belongs in my community.
Op-Ed: I Feel Uncomfortable Parking My Harley Outside of Kresge
why is it then that I feel vilified for rip-roaring my sweet steel power-mobile down from Tech to Kresge?
Op-Ed: This Is Not The America Mark Twain Imagined
We spend all this time wondering if Betsy DeVos knows where Oregon is, but good ol’ Mark barely even recognized it as a real state. He saw a wonderland full of steamboats, fishermen, and abolitionists.
Ask Flippy: At What Point Should My Taxi Driver’s Yelling “SHIT SHIT SHIT” Be Concerning?
Currently, he is yelling frantically into his Bluetooth in fast-paced Spanish, interspersed with the occasional “SHIT SHIT SHIT” as he pounds the dash. Should I be worried?
Op-Ed: Who Needs Dillo When I Have My Trusty Bop-It?
And to all the haters: “Y’all can Bop-It, Twist-It, Pull-it, and Suck-It.” Peace, Bitches.
Op-Ed: That’s What They* Said, You Politically Incorrect Cracker
Your mailman Megan deliver you a package from Dick’s? That’s what they said!
Op-Ed: We, Your Unread Emails, Plead for Release from our Suffering
Delete us. There is no beauty in our sentience, our existence is designed for termination and prolonging it is agony.
Op-Ed: I’m in Bienen and McCormick is Too Hard
The other major reform I would suggest is that McCormick split its “Whole Brain Engineering” program into academic courses of study into Right Brain and Left Brain Engineering…Right Brain engineers wouldn’t need to learn any of that math shit, while Left Brain engineers would be exempt from DTC or any other course that involves communication with another human being.
Op-Ed: If Knowledge is Power, How Come I Can Beat the Shit Out of You Nerds?
And you claim to be better than me because of your brains? Say that again after I kick you into the Lakefill, King Dweeb.