The Flipside’s Housing Guide: South Campus
We’re fully aware that your priority number is shit.
We’re fully aware that your priority number is shit.
What drunken tales haunt thy seats
Of poorly conceived mixer themes
and awkward hookups, or of both,
In Allison or the frat house?
What men or frat stars are these? What maidens put out?
The FIRST thing I’d like to ask is who is the “WE”? The Northwestern community? Morty and Coach Fitz? Willie and the mouse he just caught? NO. It’s the PATRIARCHY.
In the same way that my favorite local co-op, The Village Carrot, fosters a vibrant local community while providing delicious locally sourced products, which in turn promotes a more sustainable world, the “We Will” campaign will do that stuff too.
Critics rave about life in Ayers, saying “It really isn’t that bad,” “Save yourself,” and “I want to die.”
“Times are tough, and we realized there is now a market for cost-efficient vehicles. Sales have been down recently, but we hope with our new Recall we will have the highest figures of all automakers by the end of this year.”
“I can’t believe that none of my accounts were hacked by people guessing my password. My mind is much more at ease knowing that my Farmville account is safe.”
Representative Brett Guthrie said, “Look, a man makes a dollar and a woman makes sixty cents. That’s following the three-fifths compromise to a T. I don’t see what the big deal is.”
That line about me staying by her side when she got sick? That was just a little white lie. I was sitting at my desk telling Luke and Penny about Lily and Barney not having sex when they called to tell me she kicked the bucket.
In fact, the article stresses that the more double negatives you use in daily speech, the less unintelligent people will not think you aren’t.