People You’ll Meet Speed Dating at the Celtic Knot
What? You haven’t been speed dating at the Celtic Knot? The Flipside did the dirty so you wouldn’t have to.
Category Archives: Articles
Talented Ice Skater at Norris Clearly a Fucking Asshole
Reports indicate that the piece-of-shit individual showed up to the rink alone, put on his very own pair of ritzy, showy ice skates, and proceeded to parade around like a giant pompous asshole.
“Total Loser” Olympian Only Gets Laid 50 Times at Olympic Village
Athletes like Wilson, however, who are either introverted, in committed relationships back home, or sixteen-year-old figure skating prodigies, are happy to merely get laid a couple dozen times during their trip.
Plex Resident Claims Laundry Room Haunted, Clothes Won’t Dry
Asked if it was possible the machines were simply malfunctioning, she responded, “Absolutely not. This sort of thing has been happening for years. If it were a service issue, certainly it would have been fixed already, right?”
Motivational Poster Completely Changes Student’s Life
“I had been planning to slack off the rest of my time here,” said McIntosh. “But when I saw that sign, I realized I need to take responsibility for my own life.”
BREAKING: Flying Creature Attacks Civilians at Water Tower Place
“I’ve never seen anything like it before. People who have never met before today are all lovey-dovey with each other.”
Ask The Flipside: Percy the Gay Stoner on Valentine’s Day
This week in “Ask the Flipside,” Percy the Gay Stoner tackles questions about the hottest places to go on Valentine’s Day and the best way to look attractive during the winter.
France Accuses Russia, US of Cheating; Awarded Gold Medal for Tattling
“The United States is not, has never, and would never cooperate with the Russians on awarding each other higher scores. We would consider conniving with the Germans or Canadians, but we asked them and they refused.”
Point/Counterpoint: Should Evanston Have a Skatepark?
ETHS student Patrick Thornby argues, “No, this isn’t a good idea for such a first-class model community,” while retired musician Paul Hamilton says, “Hell yeah! Let’s do it!”
Slopestyle Course Cited with Safety Concerns
Critics pointed to multiple rings of fire, swinging buzz-saws, and jumps over pits of hungry piranhas as proof that some elements of the course were marginally too dangerous.