Tag Archives: bro

Bro Accidentally Correct in Calling Rainbow Week “Totally Gay”

EVANSTON—In an unwitting display of complete factual accuracy, a McCormick senior proclaimed that Rainbow Week was “gay” on Friday. Chad Block, a mid-forward on the Ultimate Frisbee team, was examining a Norris bulletin board when he made his truthful declaration. “Man, how gay is that shit?” he said to Joe “Broseph” Leibowitz, a senior rugby hooker. Leibowitz was shocked. He commented that this is one of the first times he’s seen Block use vocabulary correctly. “He’s not so good with

Area Student Sexiled to Siberia

EVANSTON—Many residents complain about Chicago’s winter, but last week a local student experienced an inconvenience even worse than a 2 a.m. walk to BK in lake-effect snow conditions. When Northwestern student Greg Conrad left class last Friday he discovered he had been “sexiled” out of the country. Through some sort of miscommunication, Conrad was shipped off to Siberia, a frozen, desolate wasteland, where he survived only on his knowledge of “Man vs. Wild.” Conrad complained, “my roommate texted me being

Student Voted ‘Most Likely to Succeed’ Already Failing

EVANSTON—Weinberg freshman Joe Krawson disappointed his high school graduating class on Monday when he received a failing grade on his macro-economics midterm exam, earning only 23 points out of a possible 50. Only 6 months prior, the 382 seniors of Krawson’s Washburn High School in San Diego, California had voted him the male student “most likely to succeed.” In his position as senior class president at Washburn, Krawson was well-liked for reducing detentions by 40% and for planning “the best