Confused. Disturbed. Upset. These are how people felt after the incident this week at the TTK darty. Following the event last Saturday at TTK, several brothers are under fire for their poor bartending abilities after being unable to serve the “drink of choice” of several attendees. Though the Panhellenic Council has asked for an apology, TTK has failed to issue a statement. Grant Liepzig, the brother manning the keg, stands by his tending-performance. More focused on “bringing good vibes” than
It’s that time of year again. Leaves are turning hues of crimson, white girls are donning the baggy-sweater-and-leggings look, there’s a chill in the air, and — your horny roommate is texting you “can u stay out tonight?” for the fifth time this week. That’s right, you’ve been sexiled. Your first instinct may be to get mad, but try to remain calm. Remember, roommates are people too! They have needs! What was your roommate supposed to do when he encountered
Mansplainers were able to educate people on a vast range of topics including “what a riot really is,” “the legal nuance behind insurrection,” and “who actually controls the stock market.”
“We just barely got out of there before Morty’s wrecking ball crew came in and demolished the whole frat quad.”
“What did he think the word ‘fraternity’ meant?”
“It’s more devastating than taking shots till we puke.”
“It was so damn hot in there, people were sweating like pigs, and on top of all that, the beer pong balls kept landing on the mildew in the back corner.”
Sanders is allegedly bewildered by this turn of events.
DM officials are investigating the serious possibility that last year’s complete absence of fainting frat bros was due to blood doping and other performance enhancing drugs.
Not only were the drunken hoes acting like animals, but there were actual REAL, LIVE ANIMALS present at the event.