Julia Louis-Dreyfus Walks on to Dolphin Show Cast
Although she gained extensive acting experience while living there, she plays it down, saying that most of it was really just “some show about nothing.”
Monthly Archives: October 2015
Area Freshman Wondering Why College Is So Easy
The Orange County, CA native informed the rest of her hall-mates that after nine AP classes, SAT tutoring and solving the state’s water crisis she’s slightly disappointed Northwestern hasn’t proved to be more of a challenge.
Area Freshman Weighs Nutritional Benefits of Cheez-Its vs. Cheese Nips
The freshman Economics major, who is looking for a low-sodium but flavor-filled cracker, hopes to start the school year off right with the ideal cheesy snack.
Sophomore Already Emptied Block Meal Plan
Chen had indeed been spotted frequently in C-stores, as well as buying several swipes worth of food at Frontera on more than one occasion.
Local Bro Self-Places Out of Sex 101
“Nah, I don’t need Sex 101. I’m no beginner to pleasuring women. I bet I could teach that professor a thing or two.”
Off-Campus Student Misses Community of Shared Bathrooms
“There’s nothing like the bonding time you get when you’re third in line for your floor’s only shower”
BREAKING: Caitlyn Jenner Just Sneezed
Following her famous photoshoot for Vanity Fair, media sources have confirmed that Caitlyn Jenner has indeed just sneezed.
Study: Your Ancestors Are Disappointed in You
Using ground penetrating radar, sensitive seismographic instruments, and a Ouija board, archivist Louis Diggs of the University of Your Hometown has confirmed that your ancestors are indeed rolling in their graves.
School of Comm Announces Passive Aggression Major
This past weekend, we received reports confirming that the School of Communication will be adding a new major for the 2015-2016 school year. For the first time, students will be able to major in Passive Aggression.
High School Student Thought Dillo Was Better Last Year
After the last act for Dillo day was announced earlier this week, Evanston Township High School junior Erik Swanson reported that he thought the lineup was much better last year.