If everyone sees you staring at my butt, theyāll know Iām on my period and that would obviously be the worst possible thing to happen to me or anyone in the history of time for reasons Iām unaware of, but Iād for sure have to drop out of school, so can you please just do this for me?
Ah spring, the perfect time for soaking up amazing weather, picnicking by the beach, and publicly insulting large groups of people with sexistly-charged insults and not receiving any backlash.
The seat that is always left open for his imaginary friend was just usurped by a mere passer-by whoās obsessed with watching baby boys get their foreskin cut off. What a creep!
Itās important to me that when people stalk me on the internet they think āWow, I bet she really understands the importance of symbolism,ā and āDo you think she actually followed what was going on in āInception,ā because it kind of seems like it?ā
As someone whose celebrity crush is Flynn Riderāin his animated form, not like a human-versionāI can kind of understand the Bitmoji appeal. But I canāt handle that little bitch being hotter than me, so I need your input.
I have heard nothing but complaints from my friends about not being able to do their homework, or get out of bed, or take a shower, or look at themselves in the mirror for more than three seconds. But not me! Iām absolutely perfect.
But whatās even crazier is that it seems like my work is at its peak when the coughs around me are particularly nasty. Or in simpler terms: the wetter the better!
… and an email informing her that the math department had no choice but to fail her for all current and future classes.