āIn high school, I was lucky if my dad could remember my best friendās name or what grade I was in. Now, we talk for hours on the phone about our favorite players on the team and he knows absolutely everything about them. Itās crazy!āĀ
The odds that your professor has done something problematic that has ended up online are incredibly high. All you need to do is find the evidence.Ā
According to Northwesternās football coach, this torture was deliberate. During the off-season, he has turned to emotional tactics to try and get the Northwestern football team out of their slump.
But seriously, even just writing about it, I am completely freaking out right now.
āWho cares about the environment?!ā he shouted from his hospital bed. āIām trying to save all of humanity!ā
If everyone sees you staring at my butt, theyāll know Iām on my period and that would obviously be the worst possible thing to happen to me or anyone in the history of time for reasons Iām unaware of, but Iād for sure have to drop out of school, so can you please just do this for me?
Ah spring, the perfect time for soaking up amazing weather, picnicking by the beach, and publicly insulting large groups of people with sexistly-charged insults and not receiving any backlash.
The seat that is always left open for his imaginary friend was just usurped by a mere passer-by whoās obsessed with watching baby boys get their foreskin cut off. What a creep!
Itās important to me that when people stalk me on the internet they think āWow, I bet she really understands the importance of symbolism,ā and āDo you think she actually followed what was going on in āInception,ā because it kind of seems like it?ā
As someone whose celebrity crush is Flynn Riderāin his animated form, not like a human-versionāI can kind of understand the Bitmoji appeal. But I canāt handle that little bitch being hotter than me, so I need your input.