Experts say that this newfound popularity with recently divorced fathers has been the result of an increase in microwave ramen and Easy-Mac prices across the country.
Category Archives: No. 240
“We tried, we really did,” said BLAST president Anita Quizphe, WCAS ‘18.
President Morton Schapiro, recently ranked “best current president of Northwestern,” told Flipside reporters after the dining hall report came out that he was happy to just be in the top ten for once.
Every single person in Norris today is blissfully ignorant of what they, and all humanity, will soon experience.
“Our program strives to instill the values of public relations, media expertise, and heartless cynicism in all undergraduate students.”
“Do they mean, like, 10% of the population of whales? Or like, do they mean they get to keep a flipper or something?”
After a string of recent controversies, Northwestern publicly announced that its infamous alchemy program will end not with a whimper, but with a bang. Citing an increasing number of students suffering chemical burns and various other injuries involving transmutation, Dean of Phrenological Studies and Alchemy Zanzar Pralzaban announced the cessation of the storied program in a press release delivered by three-eyed falcon. “We are sad to say we will go away,” Pralzaban said, reading directly from the release at a
A speed round begins with a 911 call for an ambulance, usually by a bystander or referee. The two players then attempt to sink as many pods as possible before the medical team arrives, with the loser answering the door.
“We take great pride in planning the largest student-run outdoor winter music festival in the country, but unfortunately, high winds, single-digit temperatures, and accumulated snow have forced us to cancel all scheduled performances.”