Loud Noise Has Morty Pull Covers Higher Over Head
It took the promise of an extra juice box with breakfast before he’d even poke his head out.
Category Archives: Featured
Meme Hero Conscious of Meme History
“This perpetual tide of progress must be tended with vigilance, humanity and insight,” she stated, “and, no matter how rare your Pepe is, we must not forsake the ideals of our visionary ancestors.”
Winner of “Busiest Schedule” Competition Earns Sweet Release of Death
Kreinbihl clinched the competition by pulling a 52-hour Adderall-boosted “catch-up session,” much to the dismay of her housemates.
Thousands of Illegal Mexican Voters Tip Evanston Mayoral Election
Opponent Alderman Mark Tendam, expressed skepticism at Hagerty’s claim. “Are there even 3,000 undocumented people in Evanston to do this?”
Boyfriend Keeps Nudging Significant Other during Burlesque Show
Throughout the show, Bassera was spotted poking and nudging Hunter to see that she was in fact watching, and taking notes.
Op-Ed: It’s Not Too Late for Bernie to Win
If we believe hard enough, Bernie will soon be turning those tweets into amendments.
Sad Student Does Own Little Burlesque Show in His Room
“I’ve been practicing all week in front of my mirror. Let’s just say everyone’s gonna love my fireman bit,” Westwood said with an utterly pitiful wink.
Area Woman Drawn Like One of His French Girls
Inspired by some unknown ambition, she stripped stark nude, approached the stranger, and demanded, “Draw me like one of your French girls!”
Tenured Professor Actually Just Dad who Got Separated from Tour Group
“Not knowing what else to do, I wandered into Lunt Hall, found an empty office, and just set up shop. The rest took care of itself.”
NUPD Recorded Beating Protesters with Sacks of Pepsi
“When I saw those protesters being beaten up by the NUPD with brown sacks filled with cans of Pepsi, all I could do was wonder how the delicious and refreshing taste of Pepsi could be used for such evil.”