High School Student Thought Dillo Was Better Last Year
After the last act for Dillo day was announced earlier this week, Evanston Township High School junior Erik Swanson reported that he thought the lineup was much better last year.
Category Archives: Featured
Uncovered: Local Illicit Magazine Delivery Service
To see a menu, which consists of one seasonal offering, new customers must supply referrals from two people already using the service.
Student Registers Your Mom as Dillo Day Guest
This morning Mayfest confirmed early reports that Amon Littleton, WCAS ’18, has registered your mother as his guest for Dillo Day on May 30th.
Smart Dillo Only Gets 28 on ACT
According to initial estimates, this places Smart Dillo into the 58th percentile among armadillos nationwide.
Student Lists 19 Likely Places He Lost his Keys
The freshman disclosed that his keys and wallet could also be at the Hooters in Peoria; or in Tashkent, Uzbekistan; or in the third stall from the left in the Norris ground floor bathroom.
Student Decides to Sell Wristband A$AP
The student initially thought that Mayfest was using a code to announce the artist, and through conjecture had determined the artist to be featured was most likely to be Fergie or Lorde in a Trap.
Razor Scooter Epidemic Hits Northwestern
The infection soon spread all over campus, and latest reports indicate that up to fifty students could be afflicted.
Professor Relieved Student Corrected Error on Slide
The student said he was proud of how he holds professors accountable for their mistakes.
STUDY: Theater Kids are Weird
EVANSTON — A study released earlier today by Anthropology professor Dr. Martin Robinson reports the conclusion that theater majors are weird. Furthermore, he found that despite being highly extroverted and sharing their lives with everyone, they are often quite loud and obnoxious. Robinson said that he was first drawn to research theater major culture after he heard numerous reports of the “loud, obnoxious theater kids all over Norris.” He then conducted a thorough study that compared 50 theater majors with
Mayfest: Disappointments to Headline Dillo
“We’re really excited to play for an audience who most likely hasn’t heard our chart-bottoming hit Swipe Right for Me. And if we get really drunk we might play some shitty songs like Smells Like Teen Spirit or All-Star.”