Clowns Nationwide Having Trouble Juggling Work and Play
“The only time I have to myself is on my walks through the woods near the kindergarten.”
Category Archives: Articles
PA Group Found Dead in Human Knot
Brian McNulty, one of the workers who found Group 193, described the scene as “the single most confusing thing I have ever stumbled upon.”
That Kid in the Front of Class Really Can Eat a Dick
Sucking a dick is just one of the many skills this wunderkind has mastered.
Polynesian-Americans Disappointed that Trump Hasn’t Slandered Them Yet
“It just seems like it’s our turn. Where’s our Alicia Machado moment?”
White Teenager Says “Praise Yeezus,” Gets a Solid Laugh
“My friends used to ‘Praise Yeezus’ all the time in Idaho, and I just thought it was something people said.”
‘Sexy Morty’ Costume Back in Stores This Halloween
The costume has already sold out through online pre orders, but Norris assures that they will restock soon.
Area Freshman Watches a Lot of Porn
Stevens said that he first started worrying about his roommate when he “walked into the room one night at 1:15 a.m. to find Jason sitting in the dark at his desk, watching porn and eating Pad Thai.”
All-Male PA Group Awkwardly Says “No Homo” After Every Sentence
“We can get brunch as a PA group and try each other’s food without having to ask for a sterilized fork now; it’s very liberating no homo.”
Area Student Has Shitty Face, Personality
“I love my son and all,” said mother Isabel Byrne, “but sometimes he can be such an asshole; and when he gives me that dumb looking smirk, I sometimes feel like hitting him with my car.”
Northwestern Student Body Headed Straight to Hell
“I think I saw the mad glint of their god’s eye today. His shriveled white prophet made it explicit when he condemned me to hellfire lest I repent. Those are damn convincing words.”