Friendsy… More Like F*cksy
“I’ve had Friendsy for one week, and I’ve already had 7 dates, 5 hook ups, and 3 one-night stands”
Category Archives: Articles
Robert Downey Jr.’s Real Reason for Visiting Northwestern
Not much is known as to why the CEO of Stark Enterprises decided to stop by the law school, but his presence led to numerous speculations among students as to the purpose of his visit.
SIGHTED: Willie the Wildcat During Lunar Eclipse
“It was big and fluffy and terrifying,” said student Laura Collins. “I could see the moon reflected its big red eyes, and an unquenchable thirst for the taste of human flesh.
OPINION: #ThanksObama
I personally had to wait to cross a street while his motorcade passed by. I thought pedestrians had the right-of-way, Mr. President.
Canadian International Student Doesn’t Give a Shit About Your Obama Stories
Colby told reporters. “I don’t feel like I should get excited about the leader of a country inferior to mine, eh?”
Behind the Music of A&O Blowout
When indie pop duo MS MR was named, Flipside was excited to learn the truth about the undiscovered artist behind the infamous 2012 hit “Hurricane.”
SESP Freshman Complains About “Having, Literally, Sooo Much Homework Right Now”
Holt claimed that it was “just some readings or whatever” but that she “thought it was super fucked-up” that the professor expected her to read 10 pages in one night.
Obama Spotted at Deuce Thursday
Using his motorcade in place of an Uber, the leader of the free world saw no reason not to indulge in $3 beers.
Peer Advisor Accused of BS
Another student, Franco B. Iglesias noted, “I started to suspect something when he wouldn’t stop emphasizing how great our social lives would be at Northwestern. I could literally smell the BS.”
Class of 2018’s Night Out “Wild”
Inside the illicitly-occupied buildings, things were getting a bit crazy. Freshman boys from Bobb pretended to know how to smoke marijuana and only coughed a lot a little.