 âItâs the perfect plan, really,â said the IFC president. âThereâs nothing frat guys like more than cutthroat competition. I canât wait to see them tear each other apaaaart …with the goal of increasing female safety on campus of course.â
âBlimey mate! You shouldâve seen the look on those copperâs mugs when they budged up to my ID only to see that Iâm bloody British. They were positively gobsmacked, I tell you!”
Sure, sheâs a brainwashed, amnesiac alien soldier fighting an intergalactic war, but would it kill her to smile once in a while? The liberals are really pushing their feminist agenda here and itâs making me sick.
âI got them all, folks,â the actual president said to raucous cheers from his unpaid Secret Service guards.
âThese people,â he gestured vaguely around the packed basement, âthey just donât appreciate a good graphic tee.â
Twenty-something social media influencer and cryptic concept filmmaker Brynlee Hodges was truly inspired by Warrenâs yeet.
âTyler told us that he was going to argue that men were actually wronged by society â like, just for the sake of discussion. Then he started really overusing the word âactually.â”
Theyâve only managed to make coffee related businesses, because college students were having problems getting coffee somehow.
BASICS also disclosed 87% of people who Juul will tell you about it immediately.
âI never thought this would happen, dude,â lamented Burt McDover, who looked after Post Maloneâs head lice. âPosty said he just wanted to try taking a quick shower because all his buddies did it every day. Itâs the newest trend, you know?”