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Tag Archives: Iran

Ayatollah Mojtaba Khamenei on War Ceasefire: “Jesus Christ Is My One True Lord and Savior”

April 22, 2026 Flippy Leave a comment

Reporting from Tehran, Iran. Although the outbreak of war between the United States and Iran seemed destined to happen since the late Ayatollah Ali Khamenei came out in support of the full release of the Epstein files, less easily predicted was President Trump’s recent reversion to the Islamic Faith by reciting the Shahada on his Truth Social account. Not to be outdone, however, the new Supreme Leader of Iran and son of Ali Khamenei, Ayatollah Mojtaba Khamenei, publicly announced his conversion to Christianity by proclaiming

Read more Articles, Featured, No. 432, Uncategorized, Year 19

Morty and ROTC to Unveil New “Hands-On” Study Abroad Program in Iran

February 17, 2020 Ansh Prasad Leave a comment

After the wildly unsuccessful “Bay of Pigs Internship Program”, it’s only natural that administration is tightening their application requirements.

Iran Releases List of 52 American Cultural Sites to Bomb, 43 Burger King Locations, Other 9 Jimmy John’s

January 12, 2020 Flippy Leave a comment

Some of America’s most coveted cultural traditions find their roots in a handful of these Burger King locales.

Read more Headline, No. 292, Politics, World, Year 12

Army-Navy Game Canceled, Army at Syria to Go on as Scheduled

October 8, 2013 Alex N. Gordon Leave a comment

The Air Force, Navy, and Army football games were put into jeopardy due to the government shutdown that began last Tuesday. The upcoming match in Syria will continue the rivalry between the Army and nearly every team in the MEC (Middle Eastern Conference).

Biden Accidentally Declares War on Iran

November 5, 2012 Andrew Schneider Leave a comment

WASHINGTON — Vice President Joe Biden may have instigated World War III last night during a last-minute campaign stop at Georgetown University. The gaffe-prone politician was delivering a short speech encouraging students to vote when he accidentally declared war on Iran. “We’re still not entirely sure what happened,” White House aide Michael Howard explained. “One minute he’s reading from a prepared statement about the Founding Fathers and the next he’s assembling the Joint Chiefs of Staff to authorize a pre-emptive

Iran Wins Best Foreign Film, Abandons Nuclear Program

February 29, 2012 Brian Lee Leave a comment

TEHRAN – Minutes after the Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film was awarded to A Separation, the Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad announced that the country will abandon its controversial nuclear program. The president spoke from a makeshift stage set up in the middle of the city’s famous Azadi Square accompanied by a local dance troupe performing an elaborate interpretive dance sequence representing the award statuette. “This is the joyous day when the great state of Iran, with its glorious