Morty will begin by sequestering all of NUPD (on and off duty) to blockade Sheridan from any traffic for one week before and after the parade
Tag Archives: Sheridan Road
The city has been slow to act against the gang; Mayor Hagerty, when told of these demands, responded, “Huh?”
“Straight lines of paint are much harder than straight lines of coke, y’know? I think we nailed it, though.”
Party-goers sang “Happy Birthday,” told stories about the puddle, and even ate birthday cake during the splendid celebration.
Eco-Conscious NU to Discontinue Lighting Sheridan Road
EVANSTON—A typical sunny January day in Evanston turned tragic when fourteen Northwestern University students were hit by three cars as they crossed Sheridan Road in front of the Arch. Fortunately, no one was killed, but the accident resulted in many injuries. Every day, NU students cross Sheridan by following the first person who decides to ignore the “Do Not Walk” sign. On this particular occasion, the leader of the pack was not capable of his duties. Jack Smannikan, a sophomore
EVANSTON—Putting on and tucking in his Class of ’13 shirt, McCormick freshman Danny Gubin had a feeling it was going to be a good day. Gubin, often described as a real loser, then brushed his teeth with his electric toothbrush and flossed. Twice. Gubin stared down at the condom given to him in his 6th grade health class, muttering to himself, “Today is going to be the day.” After stumbling into the hallway over the “Our Little Boy Is In