Bird With Mohawk in Sorority Quad Means Itâs Probably Spring Now
âWhen I first saw the bird, I was like âOh, okay, I guess springâs here,ââ said Jason Kang, WCAS â21.
Author Archives: Ari Mostow
Morty Moves to Nicaragua Under Assumption that New ASG President Has Replaced Him
Apparently not understanding the difference between âuniversity presidentâ and âstudent-body president,â Morty Schapiro has permanently moved to Nicaragua under the assumption that the new ASG president has replaced him.
“Havana” Likely Playing In Plex Dining Hall Right Now
âEvery time I hear her go âHavana ooh nana,â a little part of me dies inside, and I feel my soul slowly wither away.”
In Historic Move, Professor Closes Ad at Bottom of Youtube Video
It is still unclear whether Leggins actually meant to close the ad, or if he just accidentally clicked on the âxâ when he was trying to enter full-screen mode. Nonetheless, his students were amazed.
Health Services Reminds Sick Students to Rest Up, Drink Water, and Cough in Mudd Library
Northwestern University Health Services sent out an email last Monday reminding sick students to rest up, drink lots of water, and cough extra loudly in Mudd Library.
Northwestern Ranked #5 for College Dining in Evanston
President Morton Schapiro, recently ranked âbest current president of Northwestern,â told Flipside reporters after the dining hall report came out that he was happy to just be in the top ten for once.
Bike Path Still Complete
“Since the bike path is still complete, students who enjoyed using it to commute more easily from north to south are able to continue to do so, just like they already have been.”
Medill Student Shamelessly Interviews Relatives at Grandmotherâs Funeral
âOh, by the way, do you know of any other funerals happening this weekend? I need some more sound bytes of people crying for my podcast assignment.â
Fraternities Institute Honor System Where Pledges Haze Themselves
âWe trust that you guys are responsible enough to spank yourselves with a paddle, so weâre not gonna check for bruises,â said fraternity president Jason Clover
Freshman Showers Before Parents Weekend
âYeah, my parents and siblings will be here, so Iâm going to pretend not to be disgusting for a couple days,â said Sanders in an interview.