Area White Guy Dances Exclusively with His Shoulders
This report contradicts earlier statements by Hughes himself that he can āabsolutely get itā on the dance floor
Category Archives: Featured
New RTVF Major: āItās Finally Time to Break Out the Beretā
āWhen I got the email welcoming me into School of Comm, in that very instant, it just hit me. This is itā¦ I can finally break out the beret,ā Wayfield stated, fighting back tears.
Student Misses Crucial Point in Lecture While Wondering if Anyone has Ever Truly Cared for Them
āGosh darnā thought WCAS Junior Alberto Munez, as he realized he hadnāt been paying attention to his psychology professors lecture for the past 10 minutes as he pondered his own lonely, miserable existence.
Student Joins Campus Satirical Newspaper Instead of Seeking Therapy
āI canāt get out of bed in the morning, but you can bet that Iāll have a good time riffing off of that for the Flipside,ā said Chen.
Study: Canada Goose Coat Ineffective Against The Cold Within
A case study on McCormick sophomore, Bobby Majewski, revealed shocking results: Canada Goose coats may warm the body, but they are no match for the cold within his soul.
Broken Man Decides Heās Named Seth Now
āFuck it, I guess my name is Seth now.ā
Plex To Offer Photosynthesis As New āVegan Optionā
The dining hall at Northwesternās Foster-Walker Complex has delivered once again, this time with a trailblazing vegan option: photosynthesis.
No-Nut Government Shutdown Becoming More Impossible By the Day
āI thought it would just be a two week affair, but weāre on the verge of a full month now. If this goes longer than 30 days, I donāt know how Iām gonna hold up.ā
Op-Ed: Netflix Could Shoot Someone on Fifth Avenue and Iād Still Pay for Their Service
LookāIām not usually in favor of violence. However, Iāve been appalled by media attacks on Netflix over their new pricing plan. I have a simple message for my fellow Netflix customers who are considering defecting: if Netflix CEO Reed Hastings were to shoot someone in broad daylight on Fifth Avenue, I would have no qualms about continuing my subscription. The reason is simple: consider the alternatives. Iām not saying Netflix is perfect, but itās sure better than Hulu. Is it
Sorority Freshman Excited to Learn New Best Friendās Last Name
āBefore I just knew her as āJessica-with-blonde-highlights-from-that-house-with-pink-curtains,ā not to be confused with āJessica-with-blonde-highlights-from-the-house-kinda-near-Willard.ā”