Puddle on Garrett and Sheridan Celebrates First Birthday
Party-goers sang “Happy Birthday,” told stories about the puddle, and even ate birthday cake during the splendid celebration.
Category Archives: Local
Op-Ed: There’s a Party on Saturday, I Think
After hearing my friend Tamara mention in Econ this morning that she had plans Saturday night, I came to the natural conclusion that there has to be a party.
Area Freshman Loses Wildcard, Keeps Virginity
Schwartz promptly began asking each and every stranger, “Are you my Wildcard? Are you my Wildcard?” Still, Schwartz sustained his virginity, whilst being bereft of Wildcard.
Loud Noise Has Morty Pull Covers Higher Over Head
It took the promise of an extra juice box with breakfast before he’d even poke his head out.
Meme Hero Conscious of Meme History
“This perpetual tide of progress must be tended with vigilance, humanity and insight,” she stated, “and, no matter how rare your Pepe is, we must not forsake the ideals of our visionary ancestors.”
Winner of “Busiest Schedule” Competition Earns Sweet Release of Death
Kreinbihl clinched the competition by pulling a 52-hour Adderall-boosted “catch-up session,” much to the dismay of her housemates.
Area Woman Drawn Like One of His French Girls
Inspired by some unknown ambition, she stripped stark nude, approached the stranger, and demanded, “Draw me like one of your French girls!”
Tenured Professor Actually Just Dad who Got Separated from Tour Group
“Not knowing what else to do, I wandered into Lunt Hall, found an empty office, and just set up shop. The rest took care of itself.”
NUPD Recorded Beating Protesters with Sacks of Pepsi
“When I saw those protesters being beaten up by the NUPD with brown sacks filled with cans of Pepsi, all I could do was wonder how the delicious and refreshing taste of Pepsi could be used for such evil.”
Frats Changing “Bigs” to “Daddies” in Uncomfortable Move
Both Greek and non-Greek students have disclosed to Flipside feeling squeamish about the rebranding effort, calling it “confusing, both sexually and otherwise.”