Paul Ryan Dutifully Picks Up Trumpâs Dry Cleaning
âHe seemed a little embarrassed about holding the bag.”
Category Archives: Local
Area Parents Canât Believe Son into Both Musicals and Women
âIt was as if I had told them I wanted to have an abortion or transfer to McCormickâsurprise, then a quick shared glance, then guilt, then forced smiles and a hug.â
Area Vaper Having Hard Time Sourcing Locally
“Iâm a college student paying over $60,000 for tuition, and $15 dollars per thing of e-juice. There should be cheaper options in the area.”
PA Group Found Dead in Human Knot
Brian McNulty, one of the workers who found Group 193, described the scene as âthe single most confusing thing I have ever stumbled upon.â
That Kid in the Front of Class Really Can Eat a Dick
Sucking a dick is just one of the many skills this wunderkind has mastered.
White Teenager Says “Praise Yeezus,” Gets a Solid Laugh
“My friends used to âPraise Yeezusâ all the time in Idaho, and I just thought it was something people said.â
âSexy Mortyâ Costume Back in Stores This Halloween
The costume has already sold out through online pre orders, but Norris assures that they will restock soon.
Area Freshman Watches a Lot of Porn
Stevens said that he first started worrying about his roommate when he âwalked into the room one night at 1:15 a.m. to find Jason sitting in the dark at his desk, watching porn and eating Pad Thai.â
All-Male PA Group Awkwardly Says âNo Homoâ After Every Sentence
“We can get brunch as a PA group and try each otherâs food without having to ask for a sterilized fork now; itâs very liberating no homo.â
Area Student Has Shitty Face, Personality
âI love my son and all,â said mother Isabel Byrne, âbut sometimes he can be such an asshole; and when he gives me that dumb looking smirk, I sometimes feel like hitting him with my car.â