Category Archives: Headline

Op Ed: If Improv is About Saying ā€œYesā€ Then Why Did Every Group Say ā€œNoā€ to Me?

As any new Northwestern student who googles ā€œwhat is improvā€ five minutes before their audition knows, the only rule to the Chicago-founded comedic art form is saying ā€œyes.ā€ But if thatā€™s the case, then why did every improv group on campus say ā€œnoā€ to me? Iā€™m talking Titanic, Mee-Ow, ODB, The Bix,Ā even the Panini Players. They all said ā€œno.” I didnā€™t even get a single callback. I say theyā€™re a bunch of hypocrites. If they were really committed to the

TRUMP IMPEACHED: That Got Your Attention, Huh Paula? Now Will You Please Let Me Talk to the Kids?

In a move preceded only twice in the history of this hallowed nation, House speaker Nancy Pelosi has begun the lengthy journey that could end in — Iā€™m sorry, I canā€™t do this anymore, Paula pleaseĀ let me talk to the kids. Iā€™ve made mistakes. I know that. Iā€™m not blind to my faults, babe. But I shouldnā€™t have to get into college at 41, feign interest at the most tedious info meetings Iā€™ve ever been to and go through the

NBA Referee Assigns Technical Foul To Pregnant Woman For ā€œHiding Basketballā€

The NBA Playoffs erupted into chaos Tuesday after a referee dished out a technical foul to Claire Rogers, a pregnant woman in the stands, for ā€œhiding the basketball.ā€ The incident, which has already been deemed the greatest misunderstanding sincethe Salem Witch Trials, began in the third quarterafter an erroneous pass found its way into the stands. Sources report that as the ref turned his head, he noticed a round woman whispering to her stomach over and over. He immediately blew

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