Flipside Investigation: Democracy Watchdog Ranks Among Us Above the United States in List of World’s Most Functioning Democracies
I took it upon myself to travel to The Skeld to investigate just how good of a democracy they have.
Tag Archives: America
Prior To Resigning, Jeff Sessions Jails One More Minority For “Old Times’ Sake”
“I knew that I had to go out with one last humdinger.”
A Somali Man to America: “Cheer Up!”
This article was written by Aden Daar, a Somali villager. I was rummaging through the town landfill this morning, looking for some food for today’s meal, when I came across a copy of last week’s New York Times. I saw an article describing how Americans were sad. It said something about rising gas prices, unemployment, a government in disagreement, etc etc etc etc etc. Let me tell you something, America. CHEER UP! Who am I, you might ask, to order
Area Man Somehow Fails to Get Laid Dressed as Bill Clinton at Halloween Party
EVANSTON—Donning a fresh new suit, an American flag pin, and a Bill Clinton mask, McCormick sophomore Shane Feinberg strolled out of Allison Hall a confident man Saturday night. He was 0 for 13 so far in his Northwestern flirting career, but there was no doubt in his mind that Saturday would be the night a female would rendezvous with his slick Willie. For that night he was not Shane Feinberg, the awkward Jewish kid whose greatest scores had come on calculus
March Madness To Be Covered Under Universal Health Care
WASHINGTON—After learning that the disease often contracted in the spring, March Madness, was not covered in America’s health care plan for millions of citizens, President Obama decided action was necessary. At a press conference earlier today, The President addressed the issue, “This is a serious problem. We need to change the system. I know this disease affects real folks, myself included, and it is important to make this a priority.” March Madness is an extremely contagious disease, most prevalent in