âWe were worried that the extremely high-quality journalism that we usually produce would overshadow the mourning of the nation and the Bush family,â said a representative from the Daily.
Theyâre orange, powdery and drenched in milk. Seemingly unassuming, they manage to divide the masses like none other. Itâs rare that such a small thing can cause such polarization, but they do so with aplomb. Yes, I am talking about cheetos in milk. And yes, I think theyâre the best winter vegetable out there (and I know many of you will disagree). Cheetos in milk get a lot of flak, and I have to admit that I was also once
âI thought I was the only one on campus taking 150mg of Zoloft every morning,â said Michaels of her dosage.
In an unexpected press release, God stated that he has become âsick and tiredâ of the âmillions of prayers asking to release the trailer for the new âAvengersâ movie.â Earlier this week, a series of chiseled, stone tablets from Yahweh himself were found on the altar at the Sistine Chapel. Once they were translated from Latin, they revealed the Almightyâs distaste for his new workload. âEvery single day, I sit and I listen to prayers asking the same things: âCan
Smuthers initially agreed to comment on the story, but cancelled her interview with reporters upon hearing that The Flipside is not a marketing company.
Forget free t-shirts and food, the Northwestern Wildside is ready to get you shmacked. Desperate to increase student attendance at sporting events, the Wildside advertised free fifths of vodka to the first 100 students who showed up to the womenâs basketball game on Thursday. âWhat our student body lacks in school spirit, it makes up for in alcoholism,â said Wildside president Lindsey Carlson. Initially, the Wildside was worried that students would leave when they started handing out fifths of rum
The bitter rivalry between Northwestern and Ohio State fans sparked by the Big Ten Championship Game this Saturday came to a surprisingly peaceful conclusion at a local tailgate with the help of a Hoosier classic. When Northwestern football fan, Bill Werner, initially crashed the tailgate, it appeared relatively ordinary. âI wandered into a backyard and started eating the nearest hot dog,â said Werner. âNext thing I knew, the meth pipe was in my hand.â âThe Northwestern fans started out chanting
A previously unreleased concept art poster shows him alongside the other heroes with the tagline, âForget Infinity War: Thisis the most ambitious cross-over in history.â
Sadly, Mr. Von Count was not able to meet with election board officials before the races were officially called.
The series has been around for so long that critics arenât sure what new material Hillary 4: Apocalypse Unleashed can offer.