College Republicans Hastily Cancel Plans to Invite Milo Yiannopoulos
âWe would never have invited someone so intentionally divisive, with such regressive views on protecting children from sexual assault.â
Category Archives: Local
English Student Supports STEM But Only By Retweeting @RogueNASA
In lieu of her inability to really understand science, Owens has decided to show she cares by retweeting snippets about important scientific advancements and discoveries from the recently created Rouge NASA.
Go-Getter Applies to Two Internships
According to witnesses, Johnny opened up his laptopâs documents folder to find the resume he had used to apply to work at as a grocery store stock boy five years prior.
Area Boyfriend Watches The Notebook to Get Head
âHow did he get such a good idea? If I ever get a girlfriend, I know what movie Iâll watch.”
Off-campus Student Considers Cleaning Fridge
âThinking of cleaning out the old fridge,â Orozco said in a 3:21 a.m. tweet. âWant to wait until the time is right, though.â
Morty Down to Three Juice Boxes a Day
Many sources have speculated that this development will surely be good for Northwestern morale.
Girlfriend Prepares for 30 Solid Seconds of Action
âIâll try to cut down the foreplay to the first two seconds so we can get right into the action.â
Pencil Tappers Arrested in Massive Morse-Code Cheating Ring
“After the time came for the short answer section, the tapping went from âAmateur Drum Soloâ to âPissed-Off Flock of Woodpeckers.â”
Area Man to Stop Calling Women âFemalesâ For Valentineâs Day
Women should be able to not have sex if they donât want to, Holbrook said, provided that theyâll still do âstuff under the table at Chiliâs.â
Op-Ed: Will You Be My Valentine and Co-Sign My Loan?
“Thereâs nobody sexier or more financially solvent than you, baby, and this Valentineâs Day I want you to feel special.”