Summer Expectations vs. Reality: A Semi-Autobiographical List
I planned to read at least 5 books on the Modern Library Top 100 List, but I actually only read a Seventeen Magazine from October 2009.
Category Archives: Opinion
PRESS RELEASE: What Is a Gardetto, Anyways?
āPass the Gardettos,ā you say? Is that what you want? Tell me, what IS a Gardetto? Is it the rye chips? Is it the teeny tiny crunchy bread sticks? Is it the unsalted yet delicious pretzels? No! A Gardetto is not any of those things! I have some news for you, bub! A Gardetto is not a food. It is not a snack. It is not a plural noun. It is a name. Do not tell me to pass you
Letter to the Editor: For Social Justice Week, Consider Inviting Awkward Kids to Parties
By Foley Hartmann When I heard about Social Justice Week, I knew I had to make a difference! There is so much social injustice happening on campus: I see awkward, sad kids without friends all the time. So, first thing, I scooted over to Tech and invited all the computer science majors to an off-campus party. Itās time they got some equality in the social scene on this fine campus. But I only invited the McCormick comp-sci majors. Iām almost
If We Canāt Perform the Music of Racists, Shit-Heads, and Degenerates, What’s Left to Perform?
By Professor Donald Nally, Northwestern Conducting and Ensembles As some of you may know, a minor fracas occurred last week in one of my ensembles when a Masters student refused to sing an arrangement of a Walt Whitman poem, as his āindependent researchā had uncovered evidence that Walt Whitman was supposedly racist. This student even went so far as to file a complaint with the NAACP when I refused to let him cherry-pick the repertoire pieces he wanted to sing
Does No One Bloody Care That Sir Alex Resigned?!
By Alexander Timothy Rawlings III, the British exchange student living on the seventh floor of Plex I can’t believe this. I bloody can’t. A bloke who’s been the head coach of one of the most famous football (yes, real football, not that sodding joke of a sport that’s ripping off rugby) clubs in the world for TWENTY-SIX YEARS resigns and NOBODY in this country bloody notices? I mean, I’m pretty tolerant, so I understand that you yanks pay more attention
Flipside Apologizes for Humanity Thinking Everything They See on the Internet Is True
The Flipside would like to apologize for exposing the world to so many evils: ignorance, people who spread lies on the Internet, and even The Flipside. Look, The Flipside makes things up. People like the things we make up. For instance, we have received hundreds of Facebook likes on articles titled āClass of 2017 Holds Most Diverse Group of White People in NU Historyā and āNew Sorority Pledge in Love With Her Sisters, Unsure of All Their Names.ā Despite that
A Review of Found: A Restaurant Fit for a Stefon
I just heard about this absolutely fabulous social house (itās not the same as a restaurant, but I wonāt expect you to know the difference) from Stefon called Found. Once he said that it had both fried chicken and caviar on the menu, I knew I would die if I didnāt go there. So, this past weekend, my girlfriends and I decided to head over, and, let me tell you, it was the absolute best culinary experience Iāve had since
Point/Counterpoint: “Should I Raise Tuition?”
Guest contributor Morton Owen Schapiro argues that yes, raising tuition is an unfortunate necessity in todayās economic climate, while Morty Schapiro counters that HELL YES, have you SEEN the prices for these FUCKING FLOWERS?!?
Dear Students of SESP: Please Help, Give Us Your Money
Having learned of the School of Education and Social Policyās new course on the history and ethical dilemmas associated with philanthropic donations, the Northwestern Flipside would like to submit the following petition for the fund on our own behalf: Dear students currently engaged in the course āLearning Philanthropy and Engaging in the Study and Practice of Givingāā Weāre sorry. Weāre sorry we ever made fun of SESP. Itās just that after our twelfth straight hour on the same Quantum Mechanics
Editorial from a Prospie: āYou Guys, I Totally Drinkā
Hey guys! Sorry, Iām little hungover from the two handles of beer I had last night. I mean, that doesnāt even compare to the time my mom bought me vodka. I had three shots! Shit got so crazy, I canāt even tell you. (Except Iām going to tell you.) So me and my bros were just chilling when my ārents were out to dinner, and we were getting kind of bored so I was like, “Yo, bros, letās get schwasty.”