Professor: Okay. Sent from my iPhone.
Olstead said that she deduced the email was sent from the professor’s iPhone.
Category Archives: Articles
Searle Doctor Consults WebMD for Second, First Opinion
“As I was telling the doctor my symptoms, she was quickly typing them into her iPhone, and when I finished, she immediately told me I had cancer.”
White Student Drops Intro to Islam after Joke Bombs
“When he walked in the room the first day of the quarter and started riffing about Aladdin and magic carpets, I had a feeling he wouldn’t last long,” classmate Shannon Halpert said.
Marginalized Voices Thankful to Be Misrepresented By Mainstream Sympathizers
“It’s awesome to be dragged along as a convenient symbol in a self-righteous display of social awareness.”
Op-Ed: Who is Daniel and Why is He Damned?
“I’m not entirely sure, but “white Vans” sounds like a drug reference, and I’m worried that this Daniel is addicted to meth or heroin, which really would be damning.”
Birds Fly Back South
“Northwestern’s birds are some of the best and brightest in the school’s history, and if they’re fed up with the cold, it may be best not to leave your Canada Goose back in Santa Barbara.”
Nate Silver Correctly Predicts Next One Book, One Northwestern
Sources have recently confirmed that FiveThirtyEight founder and famous statistician Nate Silver has once again correctly predicted which book One Book, One Northwestern will use for its incoming class of freshmen.
Residential Services Removes Doors In Attempt To Increase Inclusion
“By permanently opening up all rooms through a stringent door-removal process, each hall will grow immensely as a community.”
Morty: Tuesdays now Mondays, Wednesdays now Fridays, Saturdays now Thursdays, and Every Other Friday is a Sunday
“At Northwestern, we work to be an exemplary institution, and I think a big part of that is demonstrating that our students and faculty have no difficulty adjusting to the random allocation of days without regard to traditional calendars.”
Flipside Endorses Jim Gilmore for ASG President
While it is true that Governor Gilmore has not formally announced his candidacy for ASG President, his recent United States presidential campaign indicates he is open to leadership roles.