NFL is Apparently Still Happening

“It’s been a really exciting season so far,” proclaimed Goodell. “There’s that one guy who’s in a little trouble with the law. Then there’s the one whom everyone loved, but he’s not doing very well this year. Oh, and that other guy is having a great season!”

NFL Referees Really Do Hate Your Team

McKinley explained that referees have always held a grudge against your team but no one quite remembers why. For that reason, they feel obligated to overlook “holding” calls, declare touchdowns invalid, and penalize your team for false starts at every opportunity.